My experience in blogging has been enlightening in a lot of ways.The blogosphere is only a microcosm and a reflection of the macrocosm. Its not so difficult to understand why there are wars and communal breakouts and prejudices and all the pettiness which dictates a stooping down of human character which defies any logical rationale .
I have had the good fortune to meet some really humane, progressive and enlightened souls here whose writings have touched the depths of my soul and brought forth a feeling of well being and an urge to better myself. This has happened often enough to make me want to keep writing.
On the other hand there have been encounters with the truly imbecilic kinds who opt to be armed with 'malice for one and all", which once again make you wonder as to why do some people blog?
A case in point: I had written a post "Kiss and learn" which was a think back on the Rakhi Mika incident. Mikas taking advantage Of Rakhi, had appalled and disgusted me. My son, a young lad of 17, in an effort to perhaps calm me and rationalise the issue pointed out that it could been avoided PERHAPS with caveats on Rakhis behaviour.Maybe a caution for others..he attempted to say.
The Mikas of the world are not going to vanish in the blink of an eye? So where was the harm in advising to be wary?? Only a stunted mind would interpret this argument as 'inviting to molestation' or seconding it.
So someone who calls Himself/herself 'confused' (apt alias) and writes at 'retributions' " Life is a streetcar named Desire' leaves a rather harsh presumptuous comment on the blog. I am ALL for divergent viewpoints, so published it , without a second thought. But when somebody wants to DISTORT there is no limit to the UNREASONABILITY it can descend to.. which led to this remark by 'confused..An example of how the blogosphere for some is a space to exemplify their decayed, decadent persona:
"But you sons's statement that he would not misbehave with his schoolmates only because they carry themselves well is intrinsically wrong. If they are not able to carry themselves upto his standards, will he misbehave with them then?"
If you read the blog you will realise the extent of distortion here. Somersault in cyberspace! Turn the argument on its head.. Further the word 'only' was added for effect to mute the argument.So, in other words,he/she conveniently resorted to Hypothesise, conjecture, create a faulty premise, and scream out the deduction, all in one go.. ALL because it suits his rant. Logic, reasonability be damned!!
Whats interesting or rather abominable is that while he goes around beating his chest stridently proclaiming himself as a guardian of womens rights and need to respect them, all he does when it boils down to his own actions is Utter Disrespect for me and others. All his claims disappeared into thin air huh? Of course ‘practise before you preach is as alien a concept to him as UFO’s were to Neanderthals. Hypocrisy!!
As a thumbrule I treat people on my blog with respect as I would expect them to treat me and other commenters. Almost every post has seen the emergence of an argument with a commentator or another. Likewise, this time too, I responded patiently, explaining how perhaps our point of view had not come across in a small write up, and proceeded to explain thus:
"lets face it, when an incident that is so unsavoury in its flavour and has chances of it becoming the 'flavour of the season'then all concerned citizens try to analyse, dissect and postulate their stand in the hope that such and such like are not repeated"
and I continued "There is a difference between our perception of reality and reality as it is. It would be ideal if we women were allowed to just 'BE'..wear whatever, do our bit and live life in as fast a lane as our male counterparts. Till such time as this does not happen, its PRUDENT that we keep ourselves at bay from predators.
This was the point my son was making and I agreed. Cannot pretend Mika is not there..but can be careful when in his vicinity."
This is an excerpt, an example of the tone and effort to elucidate on the post. Later, a host of commenters left their comments., as usual. I then receive a comment from confused again which was aggressive, derogatory and bullish in its tone and which I decided not to include.
I have the right to moderate my blog and NOBODY is going to bully his/her way in to my blog. Somebody called Chandni commented too, which was a repetition of the previous post of confused, and which was clearly a 'support' post for confused. IT showed NO EVIDENCE of being a response.. which meant that all I had written in the morning had been IGNORED. All that would ensue was a fruitless back n forth. The attempt now was anti-ALL crusade. A "My opinion above all else" unshakable obstinacy.. It was not carrying the debate any further, on the contrary turning into a rant..endless rant heading to nowhereland !
Since I have a flourishing day job and other things to attend to as well.. I thought it best to ignore it and move on. Also the fact that there appeared to have been multiple postings as evident from ip addresses.
But for some its more important to stir up a storm,a rather than accept free will of bloggers to moderate unacceptable comments and act in complete contrariness to their preachings, asking for respect but not showing any! The term 'control freak' has been coined for such as these..
The matter was over as far as I was concerned. But the malicious, libelous, unfair post by her/him invited a response. My kindness and lackadaisical approach had been misconstrued as weakness I suppose.
So 'confused' gives it a dimension adopted by losers.
He has been banned from other sites as well for the same reason. What is glaringly obvious is an inability to tolerate rejection of his viewpoint. So while he can embark on a rampage trying to demolish people and their freedoms, others have to bow in servitude to his "confused' bickerings. I also wonder really why he/she keeps referring to himself/herself as '"WE"..How many aliases are there ?
Its funny you know, when people use handle names themselves , go around the blogosphere hiding their true identity, then come on to a blog of a woman who speaks of her concern for the decay in society and exposes her son for the first time .. ALL UNDER HER OWN IDENTITY..while this alias chooses to make it a shouting match behind a MASK then makes a show of some GALLANTRY by ranting on his blog..This is not just HYPOCRISY.. but delusional sense of RIGHTEOUSNESS and lack of DECENCY..
All one needs to do is read the relevant post and my comments .
Soon this post will go lower and the matter will be forgotten. In fact I am purging it out of my system simultaneously while writing it.
I will continue to speak on matters which deserve attention, as I have on this matter, since I have a daughter who is in her twenties and can imagine that girls her age need guidance to face the predators. This post was an atttempt to do just that. Nobody can enforce views and people learn only when they are ready to.
Words are alive.. cut them and they bleed. Hope all who write on cyberspace would realise that and make an honest committment and effort to cultivate gentleness and kindness in speech. Debating, arguing, presenting your point can be done in a manner which desists from stepping on peoples toes. There are ample examples of a civilised discussion. If you dont adopt it then others will exercise their right to keep you away.
Viewing the larger picture from a broader perspective,if we cannot make somebodys day, why spoil it for them?
Anonymous left this comment ".a 'confused' mind equates vindictiveness with peace , defaming with contentment, and retribution with vindication."
Since my efforts at resting the contentious debate have been met with consistent indecency, I have no recourse but to solicit legal advice.