Thursday, March 30, 2006

Power to you- Suketu Mehta

With great pleasure and utmost satifaction at having finally read something which has elicited a standing ovation, right here, before my laptop and in the presence of my office table, t.v., notes, all bearing silent testimony to this uncharacteristic burst of unveiled appreciation. . I present to you excerpts from the speech of Suketu mehta,award winning writer par excellence,delivered at the India Today conclave.

Last year, five thousand women were burnt alive because their families couldn't give the dowry their husbands' families demanded. In the last century, fifty million Indian girls were aborted or killed immediately after birth, for the simple crime of being female. More than half of all Indian women are illiterate, compared to a third of Indian men. These are issues where men and women can should not just be talking together but fighting together. You don't have to use the 'f-word' - you don't have to be a feminist to see that a man beating a woman because her father hasn't come through with the dowry, or a woman earning half the wage for the same amount of work as a man, is just wrong. You don't have to be a feminist; you just have to be human. Humanism could replace feminism and whatever its converse is - machoism? Masochism?

Shortly after India Today invited me to represent power machismo, the feminist playwright Eve Ensler invited me to write a monologue for V-Day this June, to fight violence against women. I accepted, because I love women. I came out of one. And because there are truly violent things happening against women in the world today. Under the Taliban, women whose ankles showed under their burkhas were whipped by the religious police. In Pakistan, there's an epidemic of honor killings.
Every day, little girls are brought from the hills of Nepal to the brothels of Bombay to be raped for the rest of their working lives.

The modern urban Indian woman doesn't need anybody to fight on her behalf. She's perfectly capable of taking on the world on her own. The middle-class women that I know in Delhi and Bombay are powerful, resolute, and successful. They have the love of extended families, and are far more comfortable with fathers and brothers than most of the women I've seen elsewhere. Indian women like their men. They even love some of them. And if a man expresses interest in them, they know how to handle it; they know how to say no and they know how to say yes. If their boss makes a pass at them, they are perfectly capable of kicking him in the balls; if he then denies them a raise, they know how to sue him, and win.

Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any complement and limit, but only life and
reality: the female human being.

This advance (at first very much against the will of the outdistanced
men) will transform the love experience, which is now filled with error, will change it from the ground up, and reshape it into a relationship that is meant to be between one human being and another, no longer one that flows from man to woman. And this more human love… will resemble what we are now preparing painfully and with great
struggle: the love that consists in this: the two solitudes protect and border and greet each other."

, here's my solution to bridging the divide between the toughest of men and women: Power feminists should hook up with power machistas. The resulting explosion of primal passion will create power babies, who will bring new vigor to our tired human species. More power to them.

And Power to you..Suketu Mehta. May your tribe increase!!

Not only have his words captured the essence of modern Indian woman but he has , by virtue of gaining privy into her soul, verbalised the spirit she embodies.

A man capable of making a woman speechless!!(husbands need to enroll asap)

What seemed immensely gratifying was his almost reverential approach , not meant as in the letter of the term , more the spirit. He seems to have no problems in evaluating the series of upsets women have faced down the ages, but his analysis though apparently free of emotion is pungent with understanding, so essential in discriminating feminism from appearing as anti- male-ism (if there is a word as this)

It is high time all humanity sit up and take notice of problems that have plagued us , not only stemming from the fact of undue advantage taken since we are the weaker sex physically, but also indifference, apathy, intolerance, centuries of genetic engineering paving male domination and superiority as a matter of right ,not open to discussion.

In a day and age when rape, murder, street harassment, dowry deaths, female infanticide seem ubiquitous, such utterings from a male are simply Godly.

"Feminism" as a concept has its roots in chauvinism being prevalent in overwhelming proportions. Either , ideally should be done away with to be replaced by 'humanism' as suggested by Suketu.

The clerisy, need to be more vociferous for the idea to permeate to all age groups and strata. One cannot underestimate the role women can play as mothers in bringing up boys worthy to be termed "MEN", in character and outlook,most importantly towards women.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006


By Anouradha Bakshi

Read this on
A hostel in Madurai has been forcing students to maintain a public register of their menstrual cycle.
This is to prevent premarital sex and to ensure that teenage girls do not go astray.
The invasion of privacy has been taking place for years at the government hostel for poor and backward class students in Tamil Nadu's Madurai district.
the article goes on to say
The girls revealed that the policing is done by the cook under the overall supervision of the warden.
But while their records may be strictly monitored, their sanitation is not.
The girls claim their hostel has just one bathroom but that is exclusively for the warden. The girls can enter it but only to clean it and not use it.
Ironically the moral brigade is unconcerned about the fact that the girls have to bathe out in the open after dusk.

I wonder when abuse on women will end.. It just does not make sense, the shoe is on the wrong foot..
maybe it is time one addresses the question in a different manner and deal with men and their animal like reactions..

Monday, March 27, 2006

Meher Bhargava..Mata Durga

The title may seem a bit over the top.But I do not recall a single other instance when a mother-in-law has admonished dangerous criminals for teasing her daughter-in -law, demanded an apology and then paid for it with her life.

On this courageous and astonishingly brave Meher Bhargava I had writtenas early as March 7th hoping and praying that she will recover.

But she is no more.

Meher in the hospital kept mentioning the name "Amit", while the police is looking for someone called 'Pahari'.

In the hospital, on her deathbed, she told her husband Luv Bhargava that if she had to, she would do it again.

For all those mother-in-laws who have so far connived to either harass their bahus for dowry or even gone to the extent of causing them physical harm, Meher Bhargava should be instrumental in making them bow down their heads in shame.

Enough cannot be said of her last fight, because the fact that the goons and their identity was known to her as much as their criminal activities, it did not deter her from doing what she considered to be right and just.

She had the courage and valour, was a symbol of "Shakti" in human form. How cannot she be looked on as "Durga Ma" !!

Political machinations seem to be at work again. Despite a month having elapsed, the killer is at large.

Cry for justice has been sparked nevertheless.

Accused being protected and shielded by powerful political forces , so say some concerned parties.

The police still confused about main accused.

Is it yet another horrifying catastrophic repeat of Jessica lall Murder case?

If one is to believe the assurances given to Luv bhargava by the police officials and the Chief ministers office, the criminals will be handcuffed within the week.

More importantly, let us not lose sight of the cause of Mehers death. Eve teasing and harassment by neanderthal males has to be struck a death blow. If stringent punishment and public participation matches a show of strength by the victim, then it will not be long before a male would hesitate before the thought crosses his mind to even verbalise his sinister intentions, forget about actually laying a hand on a woman.

Heres praying for Meher's journey forward, in peaceful realms.

Thanking her for epitomising the infallible, invincible, indomitable,incorruptible spirit of Womanhood as has been displayed by her.

Pledging to her that her killers will be given their due.

Promising to carry on her Fight.

Friday, March 24, 2006


Examples of typical Mumbai-isms

* Yeh mehengai bahut costly ho gaya hai aaj kal

*Aaj aapun ka bad luck hi kharaab hai

*Arrey uska room kya mast hai.. paanch bada bada kamra hai
(room is a synonym for an apartment, while kamra ofcourse is room)

*yeh aaj kal tension ka bahut magajmari hai

One encounters these and such like on a daily basis, but dare not smirk..

ekdum serious se sunne ka

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

'Wrong' de Basanti

The latest issue March 2006 of 'Society' a magazine from the Magna stable of publications,which includes among others Stardust,Savvy, Health and Nutrition, featured a story 'Brave Heart' on Kavita Gadgil.

Who is Kavita Gadgil? Unfair Question.

Considering it was her real life story that inspired Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra to make his film "Rang De Basanti". While Mehra is currrently raking in the millions and being showered with accolades ,Kavita Gadgil awaits the promised call. Her martyred son Abhijit Gadgil,an IAf pilot whose death in a MiG aircraft on September 17th 2001, was the focal point of the film.

'Society' informs that not only has her name been conveniently erased from the credits, Mehra has never mentioned her contribution to the film. She had many offers from people to make a film on the issue. Mehra met her with the same intention. She shared her experience with him in complete trust and faith. Perhaps hoping that she could probably organise a charity show for her trust "Abhijit Safety Foundation Trust".

'Society'further says that Mehra had requested her not to speak to the media till the release of the film. After which there was no contact.Throughout she had been totally unaware of the making of the film. She was informed by friends that the film was based on her. So much so she was finally not even sent a couple of tickets for the preview.

Is it any wonder then that she has not seen the film? No wonder , but definitely a shame. The callous behaviour meted out to her is telling of those to whom making mega bucks or tasting success propogating hypocritical values of patriotism is of primary consideration, over and above honouring a simple promise made to a bereaved mother, whose life has been encapsulated, emotions have been exploited for personal benefit and she has been left to whimper. As if the cruel blow fate had already dealt her in the loss of her (only?) son was not tragic enough!

RDB has been successful in capturing the imagination of gullible audiences, vulnerable to the message of rebelling against a system which so far had only served to prove their impotence to circumstances they recoiled at with disgust.

Kavita Gadgil has been narrated the climax. The magazine quotes her as saying "the climax of the film is not right.Violence is not the answer to anything. You are misguiding the youth. There is a proper way to fight the system. Killing doesn't solve anything".

One fails to understand the apathy towards this mother from the film makers. Her needs were few and well deserved. Simple and unpretentious in fact. Naiivete was her undoing. Had she been savvier, not only would she have cut out a sizable piece of the pie, but might have managed to managed to whip up enough resources to lay the foundation for the trust which she is toiling to inaugurate on April 26th, Abhijits birthday.

Her husband , the magazine quotes consoles her with the following words 'theirs is a make believe world and this is common to them'. Ironic, that those who in real life play with the sentiments of others, claim to be professionals in the business of creating sensitive films! The scenes portraying Waheeeda rehman, who assayed the role of kavita Gadgil, had been milked of every emotion to gain the mileage required. Audience wept copiously, while the makers satisfied with their talent to metamorph a brilliant real life story with such authentic ingenuity into their script, revelled in glory and adulation, with the real Kavita gadgil left probably crying silently in her home.

Somebody ought to tap them on the shoulder and remind them that the 'use and discard' methodology they appear to have adopted, should have been restricted solely to tetra packs!! Humans deserve better.

Not one to give up, Kavita is busy raising funds for the memorial for soldiers who have been forgotten. Her way of showing them respect, she says. For her personally though,life extends from one sunday of the year to the next when she diligently goes down to Rajasthan the crash site, with water, flowers and a candle to light, in memory of her son Abhijit Gadgil.

A bitter taste, yellow stance.. not so Basanti after all!!

Cross posted at Desicritics Sepia mutiny DesiPundit

Monday, March 20, 2006

Throw Momma into Jail

Its all about loving your parents' money!!

Married couples are using the anti-dowry laws to implicate their parents/in-laws to part with their wealth or to live separately.

Please refer to this link.

In a shocking trend, some middle class married women, in league with their husbands, are foisting false dowry charges on their in-laws to pressure them to part with their wealth, a Delhi Police official says.

According to K.C. Dwivedi, deputy commissioner of police of the Crime Against Women Cell, some married couples hatch a plan to harass and threaten the husband's parents in order to get a share of the wealth and also to force the elderly parents to live separately.

"It seems they do not want to stay with their parents but are only concerned about their share in the wealth," Dwivedi said.

He added that in the past two months, the police had registered around five such cases where married couples framed false charges against their parents

Disingenuous..Life never stops sucking the wind out of one's sails . The prevalence of old age homes was a bad enough reflection of where we were heading as a race. However,one gave the benefit of the doubt, albeit conditionally, to the fact that perhaps monetary constraints compelled working couples to take this drastic step in the hope that their elders would be well looked after in these homes.

But suing aged parents for material comforts is one of the most deplorable piece of news in recent times. How conveniently such children overlook the years of upbringing , the toil, sacrifice, labour, love, caring, concern that has been unconditionally afforded to making them what they are today.

What you cannot recall,you do not reward. Simple. Not quite. As always, nemesis will strike with unfailing precision. Their children are watching keenly,very keenly. And children just love to be copy cats don't they?

Signs, not always as jejune as we imagine.

Had these old parents known that this was what fate had in store, perhaps they would have been wary. Perhaps they would have instilled values which highlighted compassion, goodness, respect and kindness in those impressionable childhood years. Perhaps exposed them to the advantages of a content human being, rich in self esteem, centered in humaneness and balanced in attitude towards worldly goals.

Somewhere they have faltered in their steps . Somewhere as parents they have exemplified a materialistic tendency that the children have imbibed in great proportion. Somewhere as a society we seem to be decaying into a hapless civilization where comforts, luxuries, wealth have not only taken precedence over any other worthwhile goals, but have blinded us as to the means we can adopt to fructify these desires. Shortcuts are the rule of the day. We are the 'click-age' generation aren't we?

It leads one to think that lack of trust in each other, whether between parents and children husband and wife, siblings, partners, and lack of faith in ones destiny plays a great part in triggering such deeds,. Coupled of course with the greed for 'more'. Avarice has always spelt doom and will continue to.

Antiquated laws and lacunae in the system seem to be in the dock once again. The blame lies unmistakably in the glaring truth that justice in India is still floundering amidst misuse, delay and manipulation.

Instead of condemnng the ills our society is plagued with, these occurrences have to act as catalysts to analyse and re-define where we are leading our children. Accept responsibility for our actions as parents and citizens and assume the role of teacher, guide, friend and role model to our children. Society as a whole needs to be RESCUED urgently. It has been brought to the brink by us, we therefore must stand up to the challenge of bringing it back on track.

Let us each one, simply decide to not participate in and rebel against a wrong , happening directly in front of us. Each at a time. That is all that is needed.

In the meanwhile,expunge Danny de vito (throw momma from the train) and feed on an overdose of our desi Karan Johar flics.


Posted on Desicritics where there has been a deluge of comments from unexpected quarters. The underlying purpose of the article was to highlight the downward spiral of ethics, abuse of the elderly, if at all and only as has been reported in the Press.

Incendiary comments by an individual or organisation have been disallowed on Sachiniti

Sunday, March 19, 2006

India needs more such 'Mahants'

Mahant- literally means Maha anant or supreme bliss ,mahaan atma or great soul who enjoys supreme bliss..

After what seems like aeons, have heard of somebody who has done something more than pay cursory lip service to deserve this title.

He has single handedly, merely by the force of his presence and weight of his words averted what could have been a major crisis in Varanasi.

Not just that.

His stand and averments made renowned lyricist poet Javed Akhtar (husband of actress Shabana Azmi) exclaim "I want to touch his feet!"

After reading the report, one is compelled to boldly assert


Know more about Mahant Virbhadra Mishra

Are you facing a Quarter life crisis?

Don't quite know what that means? Its not some mumbo jumbo but IMHO a really thought provoking terminology, coined I daresay for the youth , by the youth.

Simply put, it is the period between ages 21-29, when yougsters are reacting to the bombardment of information of newer choices and are enjoying the 'thinking out of the box ' syndrome.

They are questining set patterns, rebelling against not only abiding by those but at the same time wanting to re-define goals, achievement, success and purposeful life, all in one go.

Life is no longer a chalked out course of degree, career, money, marriage, kids, domesticity and so on. It is about, delaying responsibility, to perhaps go paragliding, or a career in moutaineering, be a musician. In other words the urge to take risks, in order to chase what will translate to happiness and fulfillment.

Refreshing I would say. Very Nice. The fact is that the present generation, let us assume,a small proportion as of now, has tasted financial independence at an earlier period in their lives, by the age of 25, thanks to BPOs and other such avenues. Add to this the exposure to a global culture cutting across boundaries of nations and ethnicities, freedom therefore is a right to be exercised in the choice of ones way of life , to begin with.

How contagious this trend will get, only time will tell. As of now, however what is apparent is that awareness is growing ,resulting in a breaking free from the old value system. Choices are being exercised and goals radically differnt from the previous generation being pursued. Whether this will lead to fulfillment or disillusionment will depend on the fine balance between sanity and rebellion, difficult to achieve but presenly attractive to our youth. Slippery slope undoubtedly,but who said life is easy!

Not a Page3 Blog

Today was an interesting day . One of those which compels you to analyse, prioritize and deduce.

A friend, good friend I must add, since she has always been a well wisher, questioned the choice of my posts, Let me clarify here. Her objection was not to what was being written, rather to what was not getting written.. She was surprised and disappointed she said, that I have never spoken or even remotely hinted at events I attend, pageants, award ceremonies, social dos, the works. That set me thinking to. Why did not it occur to me?

Very simply, because I dont think of myself or my blog as a calendar of social , filmi, page 3 events. By virtue of being associated with the glamorous set, does not necessitate that one utilises this platform as a page to indirectly draw attention to that aspect of ones life. To me it is demeaning and crassy. There has to be more to a human being than a portrayal of a jet set life and tom tom attendance of such functions. It feels an empty, barren and hollow stance to adopt.

I feel fulfilled, breathe easy, and gratified, if a topic which needs urgent focus has been given the attenton it deserves.

You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say..Martin Luther

So ignoring the beauty pageant, I'd much rather write about the Paedophiles who have been arrested finally. They ran tha Anchorage shelter home for street children, ironically. Undercover the sinful activities against innocent and helpless children,lured with food and shelter, had been carrying on for years. The judgement was finally delivered. After four years the guilty have been brought to book. They have been accorded 6 years imprisonment and 20000 pounds each as fine. These funds are to be utilised for the welfare of the children whose life they have literally torn assunder.

What was heartening was the judges remarks" One of the objects for awarding compensation is to wipe out India’s name from the sex tourism map. Only time can say whether the court is able to do that. Let paedophiles all over the world know that India should not be their destination,” Judge Paranjpe said.

Justice is finally being executed in the fashion worthy of an enlightened society. Exemplary punishments are the single deterrent for sexual crimes, which otherwise are next to impossible to lead to conviction.

Such punishments are the hope also in rape cases, where laxity and lacunae in law have let rapists go scot free, only to encourage others to commit offences blatantly and fearlessly.

Its past midnight.. more tomorrow.

Friday, March 17, 2006


Clicked on links and found this..

Moments such as these, which arrive so unexpectedly in the life :( of a blogger, help to brighten it^**^up, apart from the fact that one can always present this with a flourish to hubby every time he cribs "What is there to gain from all of just dont care for me time is comp time..lets go to the movies..look what the papers have to say of the causes depression.. give it up.."

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Are Women To Blame For Rape?

Happened to read a most disturbing piece reported in BBC.

Women 'get blame for being raped'
Distressed woman
Fewer than 6% of reported rapes result in a conviction
A third of people believe a woman is partially or completely responsible for being raped if she has behaved flirtatiously, a survey suggests.)
The Amnesty International poll of 1,000 people also found over 25% believe she is at least partly to blame if she has worn revealing clothing or been drunk.

Amnesty says the "shocking" findings show government policies are failing.
And the director of public prosecutions told the BBC the report "highlights some areas of real concern".

Ken Macdonald QC, who is in charge of prosecutions in England and Wales, spoke to BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour.

"The idea that a third of our people think that if a woman flirts she has only herself to blame if she is raped is, I think, quite shocking," he said.

"These are jury trials. The jury is the community in the courtroom and it is reasonable to suppose the jury brings into the courtroom a lot of the attitudes we have been reading about."

Nothing under the sun can be traced back to male unreasonability, when it comes to the battle between the sexes.

*A woman who decides to get a divorce,also gets a 'whats she up to, there definitely is another guy', while the man gets 'Poor thing, he deserved better'.

*A twice divorced man is 'plain unlucky ' while a woman is 'such a tramp, no guy wants to live with her'

*When a man decides to be single he is 'dedicated ' to his career and probably would get a promotion based on this, while a woman is 'ambitious 'as in a four letter word,or 'cares for no one but herself'.

*A working mother is accused of 'neglect', while the father can get away with 'pressures at work' as reason to ignore kids.

* A mans success and growth in his career is attributed to 'sheer dint of merit and hard work', whilst a womans is simply 'having slept around'.

*A man raising his voice on issues, even on the web is 'passionate and forthright' while a woman is 'aggressive, argumentative and confrontational'

*A man hitting on a female is 'just having fun'.. 'harmless flirtation'. For a woman ofcourse she is 'inviting to be raped'.

*While men can get away with wearing 'nothing' or close to it, and being considered 'macho', a woman is 'cheap' an 'exhibitionist or 'asking for rape' if she so much as wears a tight tee and jeans.

Mind you this is not hyperbole.Only recently, a young Muslim girl from the Aligarh University was being rigged by the college authorities' for setting a bad example' since she had dared to attend classes in jeans and without the 'dupatta'.

Justifications, excuses, explanations are aplenty and growing, as are the number of rape cases.One of the commonest explanations to rape in the west is as the BBC quoted above, and in India,it is the dress code,substantiated vociferously by the statistics of fewer rapes a couple of decades ago, when women , men aver, were conservatively attired.

The generation of our mothers and grandmothers appear not to have seen as many crimes against women. But how does one know for sure? It merely appears so since the shame associated was so tremendous that next to none got reported.Yet, if one were to pre-suppose the same,then the reasons are entirely different from what the guys choose to believe.

Consider this. Women did not venture out of their homes alone or in situations of seclusion. Women in careers were rare. Therefore opportunity for crimes of the kind was limited.Interaction of the sexes was within the precincts of homes, where other males were present. Social life was limited to marriages, restaurant hoppings, movies,basically family outings.

In other words, men couldnt quite corner women as easily. Opportunity being rare, crime was rarer. For rape, conditions have to be fortuitous, no matter how oxymoron-ish this appears.

Let us hypothecate solely for the purpose of a balanced asessment. Even if we do concede that dress code or flirtatiousness increased chances of rape, however absurd and ridiculous it sounds, then we have to admit simultaneously that male behaviour is open to animalistic traits which are triggered at the slightest provocation. So then here again, why blame the woman? It is the men who need to humanise themselves by curbing their wolfish mentality inherited from Neanderthal days, on the one hand, and simultaneously inculcating traits worthy of being 'male' in the right sense of the term.

A 'no' has to be taken as exactly that. No. After which it is rape, legally and technically.

Incidentally, this is the definition of rape in law "The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse." ..In this light,therefore,clearly, whether it is a sex worker who expresses unwillingness or a wife, sexual intercourse without mutual consent is RAPE'!

It was appalling to hear people, men and women alike, on the recent rape of a 52 year old widow, by the scion of Kasliwal family, make comments such as 'but what was she doing out so late' or ' Is she is a sex worker? so how can it be rape?'.This after medical reports had proven a fractured arm and bruises all over her body.. Therefore not only does a woman get raped,but if she shows the gall to report it, then she is raped everyday, by either the media, the legal eagles or the common man. How can we blame a woman then that she'd rather choose to die a thousand deaths within her, simmer in low fire under the burnt ashes of outrage, pain, humiliation, helplessness,for the rest of her life.. than report the crime.

Given the above scenario, if she dares to fight for justice, is it fair we disregard then the courage , grit and steadfastness exhibited, and instead whip her with shameful innuendoes? All over the world, sexual violence is on the increase, and guilty rarely brought to book. If law needs witnesses, this is one crime that rarely has corroboration. Yet, women are believed to 'invite' rape??

Is it worth considering that perhaps men are 'angry' at women for having taken over their bastion as providers? Far fetched? Women in their newly found economic independence are self sufficient and content in their single lives. Does this aggravate the feeling of 'redundancy' in a male, now that he has been substituted with other progressive interests? So does this lead to Rape? Violence in its most depraved manifestation!!

The question is not limited in scope merely to how a man perceives a woman. But more importantly in what manner he chooses to view himself, vis-a vis his own self-esteem, at the risk of sounding neoplasmic.

A more recent addition to the hydra headed is 'date rape'.One cannot ignore the almost rampant incidents of 'date rape'. So here is a man, well ensconced in his gentleman attire, who cooes and wooes, wines and dines, all the while cloaking his predatorial intentions beneath social graces, in wait for the perfect moment, to strike at the clueless female.A perfect reflection of the serpignous psyche of the modern male.

What precedes the thought? Read on. This is a comment received recently on my blog..

"Well not always but many times gals ask for it,not directly but indirectly.gals take a lot of time before sleeping with a man.If ultimate aim is physcal pleasure then why do they waste so much time.Don't tell that gals are all innocent,especially in metros and elsewhere,at least they give some sort of sign of their mean character then only rape happens.

There are good girls also and there are reasons other than this for rape. In that case guilty must be punished.If a girl behaves properly there is very less chance that she will be raped.Accidental rape may happen but in most of the cases rapist knew the victims personally."

Cultured? sure..of the bacterial variety. In need of urgent pathological treatment for deconditioning from genetically engineered code of his club-in-hand-caveman days.

One is not attempting to suggest that all males need be viewed as 'potential rapists'. For every one of the above category , there may be half a dozen who are as incensed , if not more by atrocities on women and would probably contribute to the nth degree to rectify the situation.

Surely the reasonable males will realise that categorising is essential at times. However blanket statements and generalisations are dangerous, and therefore intentionally avoided. Nevertheless going by the alarming rise in these untoward incidences, one cannot close ones eyes to the growing trends of male perversion.

Steps for prevention or control, is meat for another post. Nevertheless, what one has attempted is to indict the question.

It would be so refreshing to witness our 'stronger sex' live up to that terminology in its ethical connotation and exhibit that strength in areas like say 'protecting ' a woman from an assault, for a change, setting an example for their ilk.

Selected by Candides Notebooks- Best Blogs Of The Day.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Happy Holi

I had always been fascinated by the origins of the festival and why my mother insisted on Palash flowers for the occasion. There was no doubt in my mind that a pithy explanation would unfurl. Hindu festivals and theories , if one bothered to investigate are steeped in logic and reasonability. Not some insane whim of an inane mind... AAhh, our sages!!

The Vedas suggested using the color of the palash(teshu or dhak) flower. If clothes soaked in this colour are worn, then that colour will have its effect on our body by entering through the pores of the skin, and will save one from contagious diseases. It has miraculous medicinal effects on the body. Earlier, the young princes leaving for their Guru's Ashram used to carry a Palash Danad (stick). It is believed that the stick protected them from diseases, and harmful viruses. Palash flowers and tree bark cures many skin diseases. If a pregnant woman consumes Palash's flower juice, a very fair complexioned child is born. In addition, the child is bound to be immune to many skin and viral diseases.

The customary 'gulal' used on the occasion was derived from palash, in the good old days. Today if you are lucky, all you may procure is the aroma of the flowers, that too, fake, in chemicalized powder.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Just for laughs

Life's been pretty serious recently.

Time to lighten up a bit with these wisecracks:)


If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help.

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Never make the same mistake twice... there are so many new ones to make!

If evolution was true, mothers would have more than two hands.

Enjoy yourself. These are the "good old days" you're going to miss in the years ahead.

Many actresses won't wear a dress that's not original, but they'll take a secondhand husband.

The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Bravo Wahida!!

A proud moment for Indian womanhood.

A first for Indian history.

A Woman led the passing out parade of the Indian Armed Forces at Pune today.

That she is Wahda, a Muslim from Kashmir is important only to prove once and for all the undoubtedly secular nature of our country.

Greater significance however is her status as an Indian woman .

The paradox remains though. Without wishing to dilute the uniqueness of this achievement, especially in the face of great difficulty(she had lost her father in kashmir to terrorist attack)the other face of violence against women remains clearly unabated.

More Tomorrow .

Sorry Guys its tomorrow. There has been no update on this in any of the leading publications, which I find strangely strange. The T.V. news channels had been airing the relevant clippings, and an interview with her mother, who was all praise for The Indian Govt and their non-bias in the issue. It was touching to see that the mother a school teacher despite financial constraints and loss of her husband, toiled to see his dream come true, and encouraged her daughter to claim this Merit.

A Bravo to this mother as well!!

It is a notable event .. Wish it had been given greater media coverage. Women hardly make great news, unless it is Aishwarya, or then a rape!!

AAhhh.. Finally unearthed a link. Her name is Wahida, Sorry for the error.

The article titled 'Woman On top', featured at the bottom of the page.. Could have been easily missed

When will these Atrocities against women end?

farishtey se behtar hai insaan ban na

magar isme lagti hai mehnat zyaada

(tr: It is better to be a human being than it is to be a saint/nevertheless it takes more doing.)

In the wake of Jessica Lal's Murdercase, Kuldeep's suicide and the actress shot in the head last night, it leaves one puzzled. Can one ever hope that the worst is over?

Denial has been our forte for generations. But it seems as if debauchery has taken on a human face. As if that was not enough, please read on for the latest to realise that perhaps the Devil is more real than we know and closer to us than we can imagine. For it is atrocious to believe that even in this day and age, humans can continue to be as insensitive and barbaric.

Two events telecast on television news literally left one choked for breath. The first was the rape of a 52 year old widow, by the 27 year old son of a leading mill owner of Mumbai, in his own Mercedes, in the vicinity of his mill compound, last night.

The Manu Sharmas of our societies are sprouting up at an alarming rate. What are we leaving our children as a legacy? An unsafe, devious world, where human life is the cheapest commodity? Where a woman is viewed as an object to be mauled, molested and abused at the first given opportunity? Imagine the reality of their ages - they could have been son/mother!

The paucity of values seems to be in reverse proportion to family wealth. It is a shame that pursuit of education is limited to enrollment in an elitist institution while upbringing and evolution relegated to the background.

Just last night I wrote an article Barefoot in the park. It seems as if it was Utopia I was envisaging: a place where people looked for the simple pleasures in life and embraced everyone in love and acceptance. It is truly difficult to be simple, therefore difficult to be happy.

I was wrong in even attempting to prove it otherwise. There are no takers for that kind of a world anymore, nor for those sentiments. There is no place for foolish romanticism. It is juvenile and naive to believe that some day there can be a world without tears, fears and grief and only an expansive sky of love above.

Paradise lost is not a myth, after all.

The harsh reality of the world we live in is difficult to swallow at times like this. We are all terribly guilty and are paying the price for not realising that we are nurturing a generation of misled and misguided children. We have failed miserably as parents. Either we drive our children to suicide or murder.

The second incident was the dual murder of a mother and daughter, both lawyers, in Delhi. The dastardly act was discovered only hours later.

Immersed in our selves, we are polarizing the society through money power or muscle power.

New laws are being formulated to prevent justice from being abused. Public disapproval on the scale witnessed recently has spurred action from the right directions. Promises from Manmohan Singh, Sonia Gandhi, Abdul Kalam and their weight behind these issues will hopefully bring the desired results in eradicating the loopholes responsible for encouraging crime.

Perhaps this is the catalyst for change. Criminals fear of the common man's awakened conscience alongside active media participation has to prove to be a real deterrent, not just a paper tiger. One is seeing encouraging signs. Public gaze has to be fixed on the issue, no matter the clever manipulations for the opposite.

Will the interested Conspirators succeed? Will the proverbial 'short memory 'of the public bury the cry for justice? One does not know all the answers at this stage.

The least one can do is create awareness and hope it will create a ripple effect which will transform into a wave of change. One has to condemn without reservation, react as if it was one of our own that has been victimized. Or feel unworthy of being called humans.

Cross posted at Desicritics
This article appeared In The Times Of India-Westside Plus

Friday, March 10, 2006

Barefoot In the Park

"It is not the greatness of a man's means that makes him independent so much as the smallness of his wants”

William Cobbett

I experienced this, in my first tryst with truth while living at the Yoga institute, learning Yoga sutras and asanas. Apparently it was a mandatory stay prior to the year long teachers training course, prompted by the 'love for anything Indian' phase. Insiduously, however, I was ' trained' in more ways than just in Yoga. I had no intention of becoming a teacher, especially after the course, since I felt it unethical in teaching solely the physical aspect of yoga, when it was meant to be ideally viewed as a body-mind relationship. Instead I taught at the Institute , for a while, where the purity of tradition was maintainable. The other reason I taught there, I confess, was selfish. I had to be in shape to be credible, so it compelled me to regularise my practise.

Once there, I was surprised to discover how little it is that we actually need. Life was suddenly, uncomplicated, simple and peaceful.

The routine we were made to follow was perhaps a way of life for our ancestors.No big deal there. They would have been possibly amused at the sillinesss of us having discarded that pattern, so assiduously worked on by them, in the first place.. Arising before dawn, meditating, positively energising oneself and ones surroundings, asanas, pranayams, frugal , healthy , nutritious, vegetarian diet, spiritual ponderings, efforts to contain ones thoughts in complete awareness,bonding with fellow 'yogis'.

It was unimaginable that we, as in product of our times,a fairly pampered lot, fairly accustomed to our taken-for-granted- luxuries, would take to this simplified version of hermit-like life with amazing adaptability. Makes one wonder at the play of genes, and their responsibility towards this ready acceptance. We might have been a rather sane species , I suspect, in our previous 'yogi' avatars. Or am I speaking only for myself here? :)

At the end of our stay, none of us wanted to leave. We had felt cocooned and safe. Our body had been nourished, de-toxified and refreshed. The soul felt rejuvenated and cleansed of the burden of seemingly impervious impurities. We were as good as new.

Having to return to the world which now seemed strange, wicked,and bereft of innocence and its appreciation, made us misfits who had been condemned to hell after having had a taste of heaven. After teary farewells, much hugging, promises of undying friendships, keep-in-touch pleadings, we were grudgingly transported back to our homes by clueless family members,who having just witnessed an overly dramatic, emotional scene, were not quite able to fathom what the hullabaloo was all about, especially since at the commencement, a couple of weeks ago, we seemed a motley group of mature adults. This transformation was understandably, unimaginable.

The question that befuddled however was 'How does one replicate the peace of that life 'inside' whilst in the world outside?"

Difficult but not impossible. After years of R&D, yours truly is gifting you the kernel of 'her experimments with truth', tried and tested, guaranteed.

What is needed is unwavering attention to the goal and a regular self analysis. Incorporation of the basic tenets of a yogic life, as much as possible, particularly in the areas of thought processes, diet patterns and exercises. Willful avoidance of falling into the trap of the 'dil maange more' mentality, so cleverly advocated by our ad gurus but so detrimental to our 'dil'.

Apart from that , blueprint of a methodical work plan. In an effort to demolishing the wisecrack " it is so simple to be happy, but so difficult to be simple", let us show our mettle by proving it simply wrong. Begin at the beginning and sort out seriously, a 'things that make me happy' list. This is as good a start as any.. If you happen to be the 'romantic' kind, to whom the chirping of a bird, sound of the brook, silence of the mountains, echoes in the hills, lapping of waves on a sunlit evening, is music, then things are off to great start. Read further.( Give up, if the list includes, an island in Greece, art ,as only 'Van Gogh' or such like)

Recommended additions to the list,open to alteration from subjective perspective, chai and pakoras on a wet ,wet day, R.D. Burmans melodies, Mirza Ghalib's Ghazals, the first bud on your precious black rose plant, a "mama, you are my best friend " card from your kiddo, a warm, cheery,toothless smile from an old beggar woman who you treated to Paani Puri, the koel on your windowsill, the earthy incomparable aroma of the first rain, watching your fave film cuddled in the darkness of your room,undisturbed and free to sob heartily, being blown over by random acts of kindness from complete strangers, feeding oneself guiltlessly to huge helpings of Black Forest, while feeding the music system with Kitaro and Julio, marvelling spellbound at the myriad colors of sea-life, feeling the cool of a baby's cheek, sharing notes such as these with your fellow beings. If any or such as these ,are capable of soaring your spirits to dizzy heights of sublime got it made. There's nothing to worry.

Life will turn out to be as joyful as a walk, barefoot in the park.

Chilling Reality

by Anouradha Bakshi

Another exam suicide.. screamed the morning paper..

This is the fourth child who took his life fearing failure.. 4 kids from different backgrounds that we could not unite in life, found themselves united in the death they chose..

Taking your life is not an easy thing.. it requires courage.. and four children whose life had barely begun took that ultimate step.. because they thought they had not come to the expectations of some adult... their parents.. their school teacher.. the system..

To me these kids were far above others.. but a system made for the larger number does not recognise the worth of the unconventional child.. and in a country where marks are of the essence, there is no place for the one who excels in 'other' areas..

Something is terribly wrong... something we need to address now.. schools are necessary and so are degrees and certificates.. but what is wrong is when a child feels that there is no other way if he cannot survive it.. and here it is not a failure of the child but that of the adult be it the parent or the school teacher..

When I read about these tragic deaths I realised how close I was to having one in my own world.. I would like to share my story in the hope that it may help some desperate child..

my younger daughter S had very difficult school years, and though she had no learning disability, she just could not cope.. like all insensitive adults who want their kids to be super whatevers, I pushed her for many years, and she brave little heart did everything she could.. and did get to class IX.. then in spite of giving her best she again failed and that day when Isaw her crumpled little face I just said what she had been hoping to hear:. The words: "You need not go back to school.." came out in spite of myself.. and before I could think ahead a smile of pure gratitude lit up S's face..

I never regretted that day.. S had always wanted to work with special kids and she trained for 5 years and gave it her best, and suddenly could do all she had never been able to.. today she runs project why with me and has earned the admiration of many.. and of all my achievements , I know this one that no one knows of, is probably the best... as for the first time I decided that i would stand alone and do what I thought best for my child.. Oh I had my share of what have you done, who will marry her etc . Some of my family members did not talk to me.. but I held on!

Parents and adults have to listen to children and recognised the cries for help that are sent out.. and then find another way and celebrate the difference of the child who cannot fit the mould!

Children should not have to take their own lives.. in a so called civilised world

Thursday, March 09, 2006

IndianPad..I am so touched

Just back from a hectic day and on paying homage to my fave sites, found this on Indian Pad.

With Bloggers such as amiable_indian, it is no wonder Indian pad is what it is...a coool site.

Ahhh no..I know what you are gushy mushy words have nothing to do with the link.. Weeellll..almost:) Don't expect me to be devoid of human frailities.

And Indian pad certainly does not need my endorsement.

Look Up

Went and bought the Eve Ensler's the Good Body.. a book I recommend to all women..
The following passage caught my attention.. it is what Priya and Indian lady tells Eve Ensler: "I think you only know one country - a little country, your body with a population of one. You spend all your time fixing and renovating it. You're missing the rest of the world. You need to look up, you need to look out.."

Come to think of it, this does not apply simply to our physical body but has almost become a way of life in our times.. time we looked up and out...

PS: one almost felt a great a beginning was made in the right direction with the outrage against the jessica lal verdict till one heard of the varanasi blasts.. but then let us hope that civil society will take on this head on and not be swayed by vested interests..

Anouradha Bakshi

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

On Women's Day

Hi Sisters,

Just some thoughts to help give a great start to the day:)

“Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved”

“I am a woman in process. I'm just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull.”

“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”

“What is enough? Enough is when somebody says, "Get me the best people you can find" and nobody notices when half of them turn out to be women”

“Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!”

“The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there"

“A woman's work is never done”


Women's day today certainly does not infer that the balance 364 aren't!

What we need to re-iterate today is Women's empowerment. We need to re-assert to ourselves and to the world at large that what we bring in to the work place is emotions and sensitivity, alongside dedication and integrity, a heady mix that churns out lasting results.

What the average man has to understand is that a woman can be a professional irrespective of her marital status. There is no need for the success of her marital life or as a mother to percolate into her working abilities and be a determining factor. The opposite is true in reality. One of the first questions on the list of an employer for his female employee concerns her marital status, without any relevance to the job requirement. A prospective male employee of course is never questioned on these lines.

Things are looking up,however, with more and more of us productively engaged and in control of our lives, in the decision making process as well as accepting responsibility for its outcome.

There is lots to celebrate!!

Let us not leave the men out of this. Let us grant some men atleast the gratitude for being there and supporting us in our dreams.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Eve Teasing..A Three Pronged Attack-Blank Noise Project

Kaveetaa kaul

This morning the topmost item on the agenda was to write on the topic as promised. Sheer force of habit led me to the papers. The following headlines caught my eye'Eve teaser shoots at lawyer trying to save kin'. This occurrence , that too , today of all days, when a marathon is in progress, a blog a thon against it.

Apparently, the said lawyer 'Meher Bhargava' acted in retaliation to four hooligans who had passed lewd comments against her daughter-in law, Kavita. She objected to their behaviour. One of them took out a country made revolver and shot her on the neck. She is presently battling for her life. Incidentally the incident occurred right outside the house of the SSP. The police stationed there did not budge, despite being witness to the happenings.

While one cannot help feeling inwardly proud of Meher, the plight she finds herself in is shameful. The incident only triggers a host of questions and responses .There seem to be so many layers to the incident, that seem intertwined, the least not being that the assailants had a criminal record , alogside political connections. Manu Sharma has been unceremoniously ostracised in his own town Chandigarh apart from the mess of a retrial and the triumph of the citizen.Don't these kind give up?

To avoid deviating from the topic of the day, however, what needs to be noted is that the average woman today has decided to fight this attack on her space, tooth and nail. In this case, Meher, was protecting her daughter-in-law, which is such refreshing news,also the fact that she must therefore have been a middle aged person if not a senior citizen. But age was not a deterrent. Kudos to her for that.

The question is 'Are we ever going to be rid of this menace?' Even if it may not get totally rooted out, Imo there is a hope that it may dwindle in occurrence in cities and metros. For this to become a reality, we women, the police and the common man have to play an interactive and complementary role.

It is indeed pitiable that we have to implore for public participation , when it should have been the bounden duty of every citizen, regardless of gender to aid a victim. I have personally been a witness to a young girl beng harassed, at a so called elitist theatre. But apart from myself and another woman, no other male chose to involve himself. I leave it to your imaginaion to fathom how that male was shamed and browbeaten at his ludicrous games. I doubt he will ever venture that sphere of activity again. On second thoughts..who knows?

It is not so much about how these men view us. It is more about how they view themselves. Lack of self esteem is the basis of the problem . No self respecting man would stoop to such behaviour. Apart from that it stems from decaying moral structure, lack of social training , emotional delinquency, illiteracy. Of course, here one is not referring to the proverbial male who has not got rid of his wolfish animalistic cloak, even after aeons of rebirths. Some just refuse to evolve.

Here I would like to aver that it would be unfair to categorise all males as suspect. There are a number of men I know who balk at the idea as much as we do and have been vocal about it in circumstances that required them to be . It seems arbitrary to consider this a male compulsion. Suffice to say that it is a menace existing in our society which needs to be dealt with urgently and stringently.

Some self righteous males, often quote the dress code of 'women today' as the sole cause.What rubbish!!Its not as if women in the days of our mother were not molested. The topic itself was so taboo, that it was hushed up in embarassed silences.The idea that a woman who dresses provocatively and therefore inviting rape or molestation, is chauvunistic to the core, and can stem only from sick minds. Freedom , when it comes to women, becomes a matter of endorsement by males, therefore conditional. Can not a woman wear what she feels like wearing?

For the same reason the burkha is the classic example to my mind of male domination. Recently we were told of a case where a woman was found running in the road at 2am ,nude. Obviously it had to be traumatic. God knows what the circumstances were. Would a male, take off his shirt to cover her, or his pant to rape her, thinking that she is asking for it?? This is what society as a whole should answer., and males in particular

The role of law enforcing agents can not be under estimated. "Spare the rod and spoil the child' a maxim if interpreted in this context would be as applicable. The fear of police punishment has proven to be efficacious. It just needs to have more teeth and less red tapism. Much ease in the process, that a victim can walk up to a police station or a cop with complete conviction that her plea will be addressed and redressed. Not in doubt, as often happens now, as to whether the cross questionong is going to shame her further into regretting that she decided to seek redressal.

A three pronged attack is therefore a viable solution, with women believing in the 'shakti" they embody, the Police living up to their primary role of benfactors and the common man essaying the role of concerned and responsible citizen.

If all of this happens as envisaged,then the days of "adam teasing' are nearing. Soon netizen males will be thinking up means to stave off offending female advances.. Just Kidding.

Cross posted at Desicritics

Latest on Meher Bhargava- March 27th '06

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Monday Musings

You have your way. I have my way. As for the rightway, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.
Friedrich Nietzsche

What strikes one immediately on reading the above quote is a feeling of peace and harmony. In the absence of 'no right way' the futility of losing ones peace of mind over trivialities seems pointless.

Balance is the key issue in life. Give some take some. Rigidity of stance and ideas, is detrimental not only to the individual concerned, but to his immediate environment, his family, colleagues, society and country.

Flip side.. imagine it being the mantra of the Charles Sobhrajs or modern day Hitlers.. Dynamite!!

Human mind can rationalise its actions and use even the scriptures and its interpretations to validate its compulsions, however erroneous and evil. It then transforms into fodder to egg them on to continue their barbarities, all the while feeling content and smug in the reasonability of their deeds, since 'no way is the right way'... whew!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

For the record..

“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women

“Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals

“Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember

“Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece

“Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. Afterward the y is silent.”

“A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her


Hubbys reaction 'Men are not always silent , but they know when to be'.

Friday, March 03, 2006

stop fixing it.. it was never broken

Then be bold and love your body and stop fixing it. It was never broken. says Eve Ensler in her latest play The Good Body..

One of my staff, a diminutive mother of a six year old came to me last week clutching some money and whispered something I could not understand at first.. actually she was asking me to lend her some more and then help her get a 'breast enhancing' cream she had seen on TV.
That cream cost more than a month of her salary!

Eve Ensler's play has deeper meaning as the madness of fixing your body is everywhere, and creating a havoc some of us are quiet unaware of. I was horrified to see an ad recently on TV for a cream or powder that made your baby fair.. and the ad ended with the baby winning a beauty pageant!

Soni is 18 and has mental retardation.. the one thing she wants is to be beautiful and would do anything for a tube of 'fair and lovely' cream as she is convinced that it will make her pretty and attractive to the boys. Now the danger is that a girl like Soni could be lured easily and abused!

Last week some of our class V boys were asked to write an essay about their ideal 'wife'. Now these are all slum kids, mostly ailing from Bihar or eastern UP.. well the answer was a reflection of the the reality around us: they wanted the wife to be rich, fair, beautiful, intelligent, a doctor ..

Fair is the operative term in India then comes slim.. and a whole industry is there to fuel these dreams.. we even have a 'fair and handsome' vesrion for boys..

Eve Ensler goes on to say: I was moved by women in Africa who lived close to the earth and didn’t understand what it meant to not love their body. I was lifted by older women in India who celebrated their roundness.

Wish someone heard this, as syndromes like anorexia and bulimia are now quite real with slum kids... and no one is there to stay stop!

Ensler's takes the thought further: “Can you imagine the energy that would be unleashed if women stopped obsessing about their bodies?” The implication, of course, is that this crippling preoccupation is stunting our social, economic, political growth..

Think about it.

We, The Living

"Nothing is more fatal to happiness than the remembrance of happiness" Sri Aurobindo.

Have you ever pondered on the fact that we often value the people who have made the most imperceptible but immeasurable contributions to our life, only after they have left us for good? Even in our sorrow we prove to be selfish. For what we moan is not their death, but what has died within us in their death.

The tendency of the human mind to believe in the everlastingness of those we take for granted or those who give without demanding, is the cause of abject misery when reality hits. If we are watchful, we will hear many regretful 'only ifs' I had been more caring, or more attentive, or more sensitive to the needs of that person who has embarked on the never-to -return journey. Albeit too late.

Life then takes on a note that sheds many a hidden tear, innumerable lonely nights, empty laughter, forlorn longings. And happiness the ever elusive, gets more elusive, by the minute.

Not only have we to learn that we are here as tenants in a tenement, but more urgently, that those we love are but travelers who have their own journey to fulfill and their shadow might fade into nothingness, as surreptitiously as time slips by.

If only the thought that precedes a harsh word or an indifferent shrug, is the reality that is staring us in our faces, that of the transience of all mankind. If impermanence cannot provide us reason enough to treasure our living and not their memories, nothing will.

Of what avail then is the heartrending eulogies, soul stirring epitaphs!! The one it was meant to give reassurance to is never going to look back. Of what use is it then to relieve ourselves of the guilt of neglect by public displays of grief. It will not serve to dry a single tear that oozes out of a heavy heart or provide solace in the regret that might plague our days and nights.

If loss be the teacher,what gain is it for us?

Death is inevitable and so is bereavement, with its darkness impenetrable to our imagination,choiceless in character. However what is within our ambit of choice is the unconditional love, caring, smiles and support we can offer to those who by their mere presence have lit it up our lives in more ways than one,to give it the dimension we enjoy, but rarely admit.

"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain, to show them that we love them, not when we feel like it, but when they do"
Nan Fairbrother

Let us verbalise our love for them when they can hear it, enjoy it, and feel cherished. Let us give of ourselves, through our time, attention and nurturing. An impetuous hug, as if it were the last,a long cherished gift,a mirthful jig in free abandon, purposeless and innocent. If there is one area of life where stinginess of emotion is going to be cause for our misery, it is the holding back of affection for the irreplacable souls.

Death is unforgiving and unrelenting. Its finality, stark and true. Won't it be too late then?

cross posted at Desicritics

Thursday, March 02, 2006


'There is no one alive who is Youer than You'

So often in life, we find ourselves unadmittedly wanting to trade places with another, for reasons trivial. Before we know it we are consumed with desire, envy, and finally disease. Actually to be understood as dis-ease.

To be comfortable in ones skin, content in the bounties life has offered, secure in the knowledge that there is a plan for each one of us,happy to witness love by another and for another, euphoric at the success of others and finding in it reason to celebrate, are ways one can expand our consciousness from the immediate and mundane to levels which will transform our lives to reward us with health, happiness, vigour and compassion.

We owe it to ourselves to delve deep under the surface to discover the real person within. Life if viewed as a laboratory where experiences are only a method to arrive at the conclusion of the sum total of ourselves, will prove to be a saner option to overcome hiccups and in fact transform the same into an essential compound for the final result.

Just thoughts...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006


Welcome aboard Anou,

If I have learnt anything from my present stint on planet earth, is to Know once and for all that we do not Know everything. I reckoned the quicker I learnt this dogma, maybe I would be spared from making my birthly visits on a continuous basis. Maybe, it will finally dawn on the One, that this one, Knows that she doesn't know and she deserves a break. Don't get me wrong. It isnt that bad. Just indulging my philosophical bone.

Unavoidable considering the circumstances we met in. Would turn anyone into a philosopher:) By now, all of you must have had it upto here, about how we met on the net and all of that. See, just goes to prove.. we really don't know what we are in for, till we know we are in it, and get out of it, not in the way we know. Know? I mean No?

To get to the point, I am hopeful that we are going to create a few ripples if not a storm on Sachiniti. What say?

So, welcome again..

hail fellow, well met

Kaveetaa and I met on the net.. a stormy beginning it was..

Yet when two people meet and sparks fly.. it is always a good sign as out of the sparks emerges a mellow fire that brings warmth and good feelings..

And then I have always held that nothing in life is fortuitous.. maybe this fiery beginning had to happen so that things could take off faster and grow.. I was deeply moved when Kaveetaa invited to write on her blog and told me I was the first to be asked..

I hope to be able to share my dreams and hopes for India, my admiration for its incredible women, my pride in the work I do and maybe sometimes my despair..

I am indebted to Kaveetaa for having helped me make a course correction in my twilight years: that of bringing the good things in the limelight and turning the spotlight on them.. something I always preach but sometimes fail to follow..

Before I end this first post i would just like to share a quotation from a woman I admire:

"I always introduce myself as an encyclopaedia of defects which I do not deny. Why should I? It took me a whole life to build myself as I am."

Oriana Fallaci