"It is not the greatness of a man's means that makes him independent so much as the smallness of his wants”
William Cobbett
I experienced this, in my first tryst with truth while living at the Yoga institute, learning Yoga sutras and asanas. Apparently it was a mandatory stay prior to the year long teachers training course, prompted by the 'love for anything Indian' phase. Insiduously, however, I was ' trained' in more ways than just in Yoga. I had no intention of becoming a teacher, especially after the course, since I felt it unethical in teaching solely the physical aspect of yoga, when it was meant to be ideally viewed as a body-mind relationship. Instead I taught at the Institute , for a while, where the purity of tradition was maintainable. The other reason I taught there, I confess, was selfish. I had to be in shape to be credible, so it compelled me to regularise my practise.
Once there, I was surprised to discover how little it is that we actually need. Life was suddenly, uncomplicated, simple and peaceful.
The routine we were made to follow was perhaps a way of life for our ancestors.No big deal there. They would have been possibly amused at the sillinesss of us having discarded that pattern, so assiduously worked on by them, in the first place.. Arising before dawn, meditating, positively energising oneself and ones surroundings, asanas, pranayams, frugal , healthy , nutritious, vegetarian diet, spiritual ponderings, efforts to contain ones thoughts in complete awareness,bonding with fellow 'yogis'.
It was unimaginable that we, as in product of our times,a fairly pampered lot, fairly accustomed to our taken-for-granted- luxuries, would take to this simplified version of hermit-like life with amazing adaptability. Makes one wonder at the play of genes, and their responsibility towards this ready acceptance. We might have been a rather sane species , I suspect, in our previous 'yogi' avatars. Or am I speaking only for myself here? :)
At the end of our stay, none of us wanted to leave. We had felt cocooned and safe. Our body had been nourished, de-toxified and refreshed. The soul felt rejuvenated and cleansed of the burden of seemingly impervious impurities. We were as good as new.
Having to return to the world which now seemed strange, wicked,and bereft of innocence and its appreciation, made us misfits who had been condemned to hell after having had a taste of heaven. After teary farewells, much hugging, promises of undying friendships, keep-in-touch pleadings, we were grudgingly transported back to our homes by clueless family members,who having just witnessed an overly dramatic, emotional scene, were not quite able to fathom what the hullabaloo was all about, especially since at the commencement, a couple of weeks ago, we seemed a motley group of mature adults. This transformation was understandably, unimaginable.
The question that befuddled however was 'How does one replicate the peace of that life 'inside' whilst in the world outside?"
Difficult but not impossible. After years of R&D, yours truly is gifting you the kernel of 'her experimments with truth', tried and tested, guaranteed.
What is needed is unwavering attention to the goal and a regular self analysis. Incorporation of the basic tenets of a yogic life, as much as possible, particularly in the areas of thought processes, diet patterns and exercises. Willful avoidance of falling into the trap of the 'dil maange more' mentality, so cleverly advocated by our ad gurus but so detrimental to our 'dil'.
Apart from that , blueprint of a methodical work plan. In an effort to demolishing the wisecrack " it is so simple to be happy, but so difficult to be simple", let us show our mettle by proving it simply wrong. Begin at the beginning and sort out seriously, a 'things that make me happy' list. This is as good a start as any.. If you happen to be the 'romantic' kind, to whom the chirping of a bird, sound of the brook, silence of the mountains, echoes in the hills, lapping of waves on a sunlit evening, is music, then things are off to great start. Read further.( Give up, if the list includes, an island in Greece, art ,as only 'Van Gogh' or such like)
Recommended additions to the list,open to alteration from subjective perspective, chai and pakoras on a wet ,wet day, R.D. Burmans melodies, Mirza Ghalib's Ghazals, the first bud on your precious black rose plant, a "mama, you are my best friend " card from your kiddo, a warm, cheery,toothless smile from an old beggar woman who you treated to Paani Puri, the koel on your windowsill, the earthy incomparable aroma of the first rain, watching your fave film cuddled in the darkness of your room,undisturbed and free to sob heartily, being blown over by random acts of kindness from complete strangers, feeding oneself guiltlessly to huge helpings of Black Forest, while feeding the music system with Kitaro and Julio, marvelling spellbound at the myriad colors of sea-life, feeling the cool of a baby's cheek, sharing notes such as these with your fellow beings. If any or such as these ,are capable of soaring your spirits to dizzy heights of sublime bliss...you got it made. There's nothing to worry.
Life will turn out to be as joyful as a walk, barefoot in the park.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Chilling Reality
by Anouradha Bakshi
Another exam suicide.. screamed the morning paper..
This is the fourth child who took his life fearing failure.. 4 kids from different backgrounds that we could not unite in life, found themselves united in the death they chose..
Taking your life is not an easy thing.. it requires courage.. and four children whose life had barely begun took that ultimate step.. because they thought they had not come to the expectations of some adult... their parents.. their school teacher.. the system..
To me these kids were far above others.. but a system made for the larger number does not recognise the worth of the unconventional child.. and in a country where marks are of the essence, there is no place for the one who excels in 'other' areas..
Something is terribly wrong... something we need to address now.. schools are necessary and so are degrees and certificates.. but what is wrong is when a child feels that there is no other way if he cannot survive it.. and here it is not a failure of the child but that of the adult be it the parent or the school teacher..
When I read about these tragic deaths I realised how close I was to having one in my own world.. I would like to share my story in the hope that it may help some desperate child..
my younger daughter S had very difficult school years, and though she had no learning disability, she just could not cope.. like all insensitive adults who want their kids to be super whatevers, I pushed her for many years, and she brave little heart did everything she could.. and did get to class IX.. then in spite of giving her best she again failed and that day when Isaw her crumpled little face I just said what she had been hoping to hear:. The words: "You need not go back to school.." came out in spite of myself.. and before I could think ahead a smile of pure gratitude lit up S's face..
I never regretted that day.. S had always wanted to work with special kids and she trained for 5 years and gave it her best, and suddenly could do all she had never been able to.. today she runs project why with me and has earned the admiration of many.. and of all my achievements , I know this one that no one knows of, is probably the best... as for the first time I decided that i would stand alone and do what I thought best for my child.. Oh I had my share of what have you done, who will marry her etc . Some of my family members did not talk to me.. but I held on!
Parents and adults have to listen to children and recognised the cries for help that are sent out.. and then find another way and celebrate the difference of the child who cannot fit the mould!
Children should not have to take their own lives.. in a so called civilised world
Another exam suicide.. screamed the morning paper..
This is the fourth child who took his life fearing failure.. 4 kids from different backgrounds that we could not unite in life, found themselves united in the death they chose..
Taking your life is not an easy thing.. it requires courage.. and four children whose life had barely begun took that ultimate step.. because they thought they had not come to the expectations of some adult... their parents.. their school teacher.. the system..
To me these kids were far above others.. but a system made for the larger number does not recognise the worth of the unconventional child.. and in a country where marks are of the essence, there is no place for the one who excels in 'other' areas..
Something is terribly wrong... something we need to address now.. schools are necessary and so are degrees and certificates.. but what is wrong is when a child feels that there is no other way if he cannot survive it.. and here it is not a failure of the child but that of the adult be it the parent or the school teacher..
When I read about these tragic deaths I realised how close I was to having one in my own world.. I would like to share my story in the hope that it may help some desperate child..
my younger daughter S had very difficult school years, and though she had no learning disability, she just could not cope.. like all insensitive adults who want their kids to be super whatevers, I pushed her for many years, and she brave little heart did everything she could.. and did get to class IX.. then in spite of giving her best she again failed and that day when Isaw her crumpled little face I just said what she had been hoping to hear:. The words: "You need not go back to school.." came out in spite of myself.. and before I could think ahead a smile of pure gratitude lit up S's face..
I never regretted that day.. S had always wanted to work with special kids and she trained for 5 years and gave it her best, and suddenly could do all she had never been able to.. today she runs project why with me and has earned the admiration of many.. and of all my achievements , I know this one that no one knows of, is probably the best... as for the first time I decided that i would stand alone and do what I thought best for my child.. Oh I had my share of what have you done, who will marry her etc . Some of my family members did not talk to me.. but I held on!
Parents and adults have to listen to children and recognised the cries for help that are sent out.. and then find another way and celebrate the difference of the child who cannot fit the mould!
Children should not have to take their own lives.. in a so called civilised world
Thursday, March 09, 2006
IndianPad..I am so touched
Just back from a hectic day and on paying homage to my fave sites, found this on Indian Pad.
With Bloggers such as amiable_indian, it is no wonder Indian pad is what it is...a coool site.
Ahhh no..I know what you are thinking..my gushy mushy words have nothing to do with the link.. Weeellll..almost:) Don't expect me to be devoid of human frailities.
And Indian pad certainly does not need my endorsement.
With Bloggers such as amiable_indian, it is no wonder Indian pad is what it is...a coool site.
Ahhh no..I know what you are thinking..my gushy mushy words have nothing to do with the link.. Weeellll..almost:) Don't expect me to be devoid of human frailities.
And Indian pad certainly does not need my endorsement.
Look Up
Went and bought the Eve Ensler's the Good Body.. a book I recommend to all women..
The following passage caught my attention.. it is what Priya and Indian lady tells Eve Ensler: "I think you only know one country - a little country, your body with a population of one. You spend all your time fixing and renovating it. You're missing the rest of the world. You need to look up, you need to look out.."
Come to think of it, this does not apply simply to our physical body but has almost become a way of life in our times.. time we looked up and out...
PS: one almost felt a great a beginning was made in the right direction with the outrage against the jessica lal verdict till one heard of the varanasi blasts.. but then let us hope that civil society will take on this head on and not be swayed by vested interests..
Anouradha Bakshi
The following passage caught my attention.. it is what Priya and Indian lady tells Eve Ensler: "I think you only know one country - a little country, your body with a population of one. You spend all your time fixing and renovating it. You're missing the rest of the world. You need to look up, you need to look out.."
Come to think of it, this does not apply simply to our physical body but has almost become a way of life in our times.. time we looked up and out...
PS: one almost felt a great a beginning was made in the right direction with the outrage against the jessica lal verdict till one heard of the varanasi blasts.. but then let us hope that civil society will take on this head on and not be swayed by vested interests..
Anouradha Bakshi
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
On Women's Day
Hi Sisters,
Just some thoughts to help give a great start to the day:)
“Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved”
“I am a woman in process. I'm just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull.”
“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
“What is enough? Enough is when somebody says, "Get me the best people you can find" and nobody notices when half of them turn out to be women”
“Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!”
“The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there"
“A woman's work is never done”
*************************************************************************************
Women's day today certainly does not infer that the balance 364 aren't!
What we need to re-iterate today is Women's empowerment. We need to re-assert to ourselves and to the world at large that what we bring in to the work place is emotions and sensitivity, alongside dedication and integrity, a heady mix that churns out lasting results.
What the average man has to understand is that a woman can be a professional irrespective of her marital status. There is no need for the success of her marital life or as a mother to percolate into her working abilities and be a determining factor. The opposite is true in reality. One of the first questions on the list of an employer for his female employee concerns her marital status, without any relevance to the job requirement. A prospective male employee of course is never questioned on these lines.
Things are looking up,however, with more and more of us productively engaged and in control of our lives, in the decision making process as well as accepting responsibility for its outcome.
There is lots to celebrate!!
Let us not leave the men out of this. Let us grant some men atleast the gratitude for being there and supporting us in our dreams.
Just some thoughts to help give a great start to the day:)
“Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved”
“I am a woman in process. I'm just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull.”
“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
“What is enough? Enough is when somebody says, "Get me the best people you can find" and nobody notices when half of them turn out to be women”
“Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!”
“The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there"
“A woman's work is never done”
*************************************************************************************
Women's day today certainly does not infer that the balance 364 aren't!
What we need to re-iterate today is Women's empowerment. We need to re-assert to ourselves and to the world at large that what we bring in to the work place is emotions and sensitivity, alongside dedication and integrity, a heady mix that churns out lasting results.
What the average man has to understand is that a woman can be a professional irrespective of her marital status. There is no need for the success of her marital life or as a mother to percolate into her working abilities and be a determining factor. The opposite is true in reality. One of the first questions on the list of an employer for his female employee concerns her marital status, without any relevance to the job requirement. A prospective male employee of course is never questioned on these lines.
Things are looking up,however, with more and more of us productively engaged and in control of our lives, in the decision making process as well as accepting responsibility for its outcome.
There is lots to celebrate!!
Let us not leave the men out of this. Let us grant some men atleast the gratitude for being there and supporting us in our dreams.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Eve Teasing..A Three Pronged Attack-Blank Noise Project
Kaveetaa kaul
This morning the topmost item on the agenda was to write on the topic as promised. Sheer force of habit led me to the papers. The following headlines caught my eye'Eve teaser shoots at lawyer trying to save kin'. This occurrence , that too , today of all days, when a marathon is in progress, a blog a thon against it.
Apparently, the said lawyer 'Meher Bhargava' acted in retaliation to four hooligans who had passed lewd comments against her daughter-in law, Kavita. She objected to their behaviour. One of them took out a country made revolver and shot her on the neck. She is presently battling for her life. Incidentally the incident occurred right outside the house of the SSP. The police stationed there did not budge, despite being witness to the happenings.
While one cannot help feeling inwardly proud of Meher, the plight she finds herself in is shameful. The incident only triggers a host of questions and responses .There seem to be so many layers to the incident, that seem intertwined, the least not being that the assailants had a criminal record , alogside political connections. Manu Sharma has been unceremoniously ostracised in his own town Chandigarh apart from the mess of a retrial and the triumph of the citizen.Don't these kind give up?
To avoid deviating from the topic of the day, however, what needs to be noted is that the average woman today has decided to fight this attack on her space, tooth and nail. In this case, Meher, was protecting her daughter-in-law, which is such refreshing news,also the fact that she must therefore have been a middle aged person if not a senior citizen. But age was not a deterrent. Kudos to her for that.
The question is 'Are we ever going to be rid of this menace?' Even if it may not get totally rooted out, Imo there is a hope that it may dwindle in occurrence in cities and metros. For this to become a reality, we women, the police and the common man have to play an interactive and complementary role.
It is indeed pitiable that we have to implore for public participation , when it should have been the bounden duty of every citizen, regardless of gender to aid a victim. I have personally been a witness to a young girl beng harassed, at a so called elitist theatre. But apart from myself and another woman, no other male chose to involve himself. I leave it to your imaginaion to fathom how that male was shamed and browbeaten at his ludicrous games. I doubt he will ever venture that sphere of activity again. On second thoughts..who knows?
It is not so much about how these men view us. It is more about how they view themselves. Lack of self esteem is the basis of the problem . No self respecting man would stoop to such behaviour. Apart from that it stems from decaying moral structure, lack of social training , emotional delinquency, illiteracy. Of course, here one is not referring to the proverbial male who has not got rid of his wolfish animalistic cloak, even after aeons of rebirths. Some just refuse to evolve.
Here I would like to aver that it would be unfair to categorise all males as suspect. There are a number of men I know who balk at the idea as much as we do and have been vocal about it in circumstances that required them to be . It seems arbitrary to consider this a male compulsion. Suffice to say that it is a menace existing in our society which needs to be dealt with urgently and stringently.
Some self righteous males, often quote the dress code of 'women today' as the sole cause.What rubbish!!Its not as if women in the days of our mother were not molested. The topic itself was so taboo, that it was hushed up in embarassed silences.The idea that a woman who dresses provocatively and therefore inviting rape or molestation, is chauvunistic to the core, and can stem only from sick minds. Freedom , when it comes to women, becomes a matter of endorsement by males, therefore conditional. Can not a woman wear what she feels like wearing?
For the same reason the burkha is the classic example to my mind of male domination. Recently we were told of a case where a woman was found running in the road at 2am ,nude. Obviously it had to be traumatic. God knows what the circumstances were. Would a male, take off his shirt to cover her, or his pant to rape her, thinking that she is asking for it?? This is what society as a whole should answer., and males in particular
The role of law enforcing agents can not be under estimated. "Spare the rod and spoil the child' a maxim if interpreted in this context would be as applicable. The fear of police punishment has proven to be efficacious. It just needs to have more teeth and less red tapism. Much ease in the process, that a victim can walk up to a police station or a cop with complete conviction that her plea will be addressed and redressed. Not in doubt, as often happens now, as to whether the cross questionong is going to shame her further into regretting that she decided to seek redressal.
A three pronged attack is therefore a viable solution, with women believing in the 'shakti" they embody, the Police living up to their primary role of benfactors and the common man essaying the role of concerned and responsible citizen.
If all of this happens as envisaged,then the days of "adam teasing' are nearing. Soon netizen males will be thinking up means to stave off offending female advances.. Just Kidding.
Cross posted at Desicritics
Latest on Meher Bhargava- March 27th '06
This morning the topmost item on the agenda was to write on the topic as promised. Sheer force of habit led me to the papers. The following headlines caught my eye'Eve teaser shoots at lawyer trying to save kin'. This occurrence , that too , today of all days, when a marathon is in progress, a blog a thon against it.
Apparently, the said lawyer 'Meher Bhargava' acted in retaliation to four hooligans who had passed lewd comments against her daughter-in law, Kavita. She objected to their behaviour. One of them took out a country made revolver and shot her on the neck. She is presently battling for her life. Incidentally the incident occurred right outside the house of the SSP. The police stationed there did not budge, despite being witness to the happenings.
While one cannot help feeling inwardly proud of Meher, the plight she finds herself in is shameful. The incident only triggers a host of questions and responses .There seem to be so many layers to the incident, that seem intertwined, the least not being that the assailants had a criminal record , alogside political connections. Manu Sharma has been unceremoniously ostracised in his own town Chandigarh apart from the mess of a retrial and the triumph of the citizen.Don't these kind give up?
To avoid deviating from the topic of the day, however, what needs to be noted is that the average woman today has decided to fight this attack on her space, tooth and nail. In this case, Meher, was protecting her daughter-in-law, which is such refreshing news,also the fact that she must therefore have been a middle aged person if not a senior citizen. But age was not a deterrent. Kudos to her for that.
The question is 'Are we ever going to be rid of this menace?' Even if it may not get totally rooted out, Imo there is a hope that it may dwindle in occurrence in cities and metros. For this to become a reality, we women, the police and the common man have to play an interactive and complementary role.
It is indeed pitiable that we have to implore for public participation , when it should have been the bounden duty of every citizen, regardless of gender to aid a victim. I have personally been a witness to a young girl beng harassed, at a so called elitist theatre. But apart from myself and another woman, no other male chose to involve himself. I leave it to your imaginaion to fathom how that male was shamed and browbeaten at his ludicrous games. I doubt he will ever venture that sphere of activity again. On second thoughts..who knows?
It is not so much about how these men view us. It is more about how they view themselves. Lack of self esteem is the basis of the problem . No self respecting man would stoop to such behaviour. Apart from that it stems from decaying moral structure, lack of social training , emotional delinquency, illiteracy. Of course, here one is not referring to the proverbial male who has not got rid of his wolfish animalistic cloak, even after aeons of rebirths. Some just refuse to evolve.
Here I would like to aver that it would be unfair to categorise all males as suspect. There are a number of men I know who balk at the idea as much as we do and have been vocal about it in circumstances that required them to be . It seems arbitrary to consider this a male compulsion. Suffice to say that it is a menace existing in our society which needs to be dealt with urgently and stringently.
Some self righteous males, often quote the dress code of 'women today' as the sole cause.What rubbish!!Its not as if women in the days of our mother were not molested. The topic itself was so taboo, that it was hushed up in embarassed silences.The idea that a woman who dresses provocatively and therefore inviting rape or molestation, is chauvunistic to the core, and can stem only from sick minds. Freedom , when it comes to women, becomes a matter of endorsement by males, therefore conditional. Can not a woman wear what she feels like wearing?
For the same reason the burkha is the classic example to my mind of male domination. Recently we were told of a case where a woman was found running in the road at 2am ,nude. Obviously it had to be traumatic. God knows what the circumstances were. Would a male, take off his shirt to cover her, or his pant to rape her, thinking that she is asking for it?? This is what society as a whole should answer., and males in particular
The role of law enforcing agents can not be under estimated. "Spare the rod and spoil the child' a maxim if interpreted in this context would be as applicable. The fear of police punishment has proven to be efficacious. It just needs to have more teeth and less red tapism. Much ease in the process, that a victim can walk up to a police station or a cop with complete conviction that her plea will be addressed and redressed. Not in doubt, as often happens now, as to whether the cross questionong is going to shame her further into regretting that she decided to seek redressal.
A three pronged attack is therefore a viable solution, with women believing in the 'shakti" they embody, the Police living up to their primary role of benfactors and the common man essaying the role of concerned and responsible citizen.
If all of this happens as envisaged,then the days of "adam teasing' are nearing. Soon netizen males will be thinking up means to stave off offending female advances.. Just Kidding.
Cross posted at Desicritics
Latest on Meher Bhargava- March 27th '06
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Monday Musings
You have your way. I have my way. As for the rightway, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.
Friedrich Nietzsche
What strikes one immediately on reading the above quote is a feeling of peace and harmony. In the absence of 'no right way' the futility of losing ones peace of mind over trivialities seems pointless.
Balance is the key issue in life. Give some take some. Rigidity of stance and ideas, is detrimental not only to the individual concerned, but to his immediate environment, his family, colleagues, society and country.
Flip side.. imagine it being the mantra of the Charles Sobhrajs or modern day Hitlers.. Dynamite!!
Human mind can rationalise its actions and use even the scriptures and its interpretations to validate its compulsions, however erroneous and evil. It then transforms into fodder to egg them on to continue their barbarities, all the while feeling content and smug in the reasonability of their deeds, since 'no way is the right way'... whew!
Saturday, March 04, 2006
For the record..
“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
“Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals
“Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember
“Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece
“Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. Afterward the y is silent.”
“A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her
*************************************************************************************
Hubbys reaction 'Men are not always silent , but they know when to be'.
“Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals
“Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember
“Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece
“Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. Afterward the y is silent.”
“A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her
*************************************************************************************
Hubbys reaction 'Men are not always silent , but they know when to be'.
Friday, March 03, 2006
stop fixing it.. it was never broken
Then be bold and love your body and stop fixing it. It was never broken. says Eve Ensler in her latest play The Good Body..
One of my staff, a diminutive mother of a six year old came to me last week clutching some money and whispered something I could not understand at first.. actually she was asking me to lend her some more and then help her get a 'breast enhancing' cream she had seen on TV.
That cream cost more than a month of her salary!
Eve Ensler's play has deeper meaning as the madness of fixing your body is everywhere, and creating a havoc some of us are quiet unaware of. I was horrified to see an ad recently on TV for a cream or powder that made your baby fair.. and the ad ended with the baby winning a beauty pageant!
Soni is 18 and has mental retardation.. the one thing she wants is to be beautiful and would do anything for a tube of 'fair and lovely' cream as she is convinced that it will make her pretty and attractive to the boys. Now the danger is that a girl like Soni could be lured easily and abused!
Last week some of our class V boys were asked to write an essay about their ideal 'wife'. Now these are all slum kids, mostly ailing from Bihar or eastern UP.. well the answer was a reflection of the the reality around us: they wanted the wife to be rich, fair, beautiful, intelligent, a doctor ..
Fair is the operative term in India then comes slim.. and a whole industry is there to fuel these dreams.. we even have a 'fair and handsome' vesrion for boys..
Eve Ensler goes on to say: I was moved by women in Africa who lived close to the earth and didn’t understand what it meant to not love their body. I was lifted by older women in India who celebrated their roundness.
Wish someone heard this, as syndromes like anorexia and bulimia are now quite real with slum kids... and no one is there to stay stop!
Ensler's takes the thought further: “Can you imagine the energy that would be unleashed if women stopped obsessing about their bodies?” The implication, of course, is that this crippling preoccupation is stunting our social, economic, political growth..
Think about it.
One of my staff, a diminutive mother of a six year old came to me last week clutching some money and whispered something I could not understand at first.. actually she was asking me to lend her some more and then help her get a 'breast enhancing' cream she had seen on TV.
That cream cost more than a month of her salary!
Eve Ensler's play has deeper meaning as the madness of fixing your body is everywhere, and creating a havoc some of us are quiet unaware of. I was horrified to see an ad recently on TV for a cream or powder that made your baby fair.. and the ad ended with the baby winning a beauty pageant!
Soni is 18 and has mental retardation.. the one thing she wants is to be beautiful and would do anything for a tube of 'fair and lovely' cream as she is convinced that it will make her pretty and attractive to the boys. Now the danger is that a girl like Soni could be lured easily and abused!
Last week some of our class V boys were asked to write an essay about their ideal 'wife'. Now these are all slum kids, mostly ailing from Bihar or eastern UP.. well the answer was a reflection of the the reality around us: they wanted the wife to be rich, fair, beautiful, intelligent, a doctor ..
Fair is the operative term in India then comes slim.. and a whole industry is there to fuel these dreams.. we even have a 'fair and handsome' vesrion for boys..
Eve Ensler goes on to say: I was moved by women in Africa who lived close to the earth and didn’t understand what it meant to not love their body. I was lifted by older women in India who celebrated their roundness.
Wish someone heard this, as syndromes like anorexia and bulimia are now quite real with slum kids... and no one is there to stay stop!
Ensler's takes the thought further: “Can you imagine the energy that would be unleashed if women stopped obsessing about their bodies?” The implication, of course, is that this crippling preoccupation is stunting our social, economic, political growth..
Think about it.
We, The Living
"Nothing is more fatal to happiness than the remembrance of happiness" Sri Aurobindo.
Have you ever pondered on the fact that we often value the people who have made the most imperceptible but immeasurable contributions to our life, only after they have left us for good? Even in our sorrow we prove to be selfish. For what we moan is not their death, but what has died within us in their death.
The tendency of the human mind to believe in the everlastingness of those we take for granted or those who give without demanding, is the cause of abject misery when reality hits. If we are watchful, we will hear many regretful 'only ifs' I had been more caring, or more attentive, or more sensitive to the needs of that person who has embarked on the never-to -return journey. Albeit too late.
Life then takes on a note that sheds many a hidden tear, innumerable lonely nights, empty laughter, forlorn longings. And happiness the ever elusive, gets more elusive, by the minute.
Not only have we to learn that we are here as tenants in a tenement, but more urgently, that those we love are but travelers who have their own journey to fulfill and their shadow might fade into nothingness, as surreptitiously as time slips by.
If only the thought that precedes a harsh word or an indifferent shrug, is the reality that is staring us in our faces, that of the transience of all mankind. If impermanence cannot provide us reason enough to treasure our living and not their memories, nothing will.
Of what avail then is the heartrending eulogies, soul stirring epitaphs!! The one it was meant to give reassurance to is never going to look back. Of what use is it then to relieve ourselves of the guilt of neglect by public displays of grief. It will not serve to dry a single tear that oozes out of a heavy heart or provide solace in the regret that might plague our days and nights.
If loss be the teacher,what gain is it for us?
Death is inevitable and so is bereavement, with its darkness impenetrable to our imagination,choiceless in character. However what is within our ambit of choice is the unconditional love, caring, smiles and support we can offer to those who by their mere presence have lit it up our lives in more ways than one,to give it the dimension we enjoy, but rarely admit.
"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain, to show them that we love them, not when we feel like it, but when they do"
Nan Fairbrother
Let us verbalise our love for them when they can hear it, enjoy it, and feel cherished. Let us give of ourselves, through our time, attention and nurturing. An impetuous hug, as if it were the last,a long cherished gift,a mirthful jig in free abandon, purposeless and innocent. If there is one area of life where stinginess of emotion is going to be cause for our misery, it is the holding back of affection for the irreplacable souls.
Death is unforgiving and unrelenting. Its finality, stark and true. Won't it be too late then?
cross posted at Desicritics
Have you ever pondered on the fact that we often value the people who have made the most imperceptible but immeasurable contributions to our life, only after they have left us for good? Even in our sorrow we prove to be selfish. For what we moan is not their death, but what has died within us in their death.
The tendency of the human mind to believe in the everlastingness of those we take for granted or those who give without demanding, is the cause of abject misery when reality hits. If we are watchful, we will hear many regretful 'only ifs' I had been more caring, or more attentive, or more sensitive to the needs of that person who has embarked on the never-to -return journey. Albeit too late.
Life then takes on a note that sheds many a hidden tear, innumerable lonely nights, empty laughter, forlorn longings. And happiness the ever elusive, gets more elusive, by the minute.
Not only have we to learn that we are here as tenants in a tenement, but more urgently, that those we love are but travelers who have their own journey to fulfill and their shadow might fade into nothingness, as surreptitiously as time slips by.
If only the thought that precedes a harsh word or an indifferent shrug, is the reality that is staring us in our faces, that of the transience of all mankind. If impermanence cannot provide us reason enough to treasure our living and not their memories, nothing will.
Of what avail then is the heartrending eulogies, soul stirring epitaphs!! The one it was meant to give reassurance to is never going to look back. Of what use is it then to relieve ourselves of the guilt of neglect by public displays of grief. It will not serve to dry a single tear that oozes out of a heavy heart or provide solace in the regret that might plague our days and nights.
If loss be the teacher,what gain is it for us?
Death is inevitable and so is bereavement, with its darkness impenetrable to our imagination,choiceless in character. However what is within our ambit of choice is the unconditional love, caring, smiles and support we can offer to those who by their mere presence have lit it up our lives in more ways than one,to give it the dimension we enjoy, but rarely admit.
"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain, to show them that we love them, not when we feel like it, but when they do"
Nan Fairbrother
Let us verbalise our love for them when they can hear it, enjoy it, and feel cherished. Let us give of ourselves, through our time, attention and nurturing. An impetuous hug, as if it were the last,a long cherished gift,a mirthful jig in free abandon, purposeless and innocent. If there is one area of life where stinginess of emotion is going to be cause for our misery, it is the holding back of affection for the irreplacable souls.
Death is unforgiving and unrelenting. Its finality, stark and true. Won't it be too late then?
cross posted at Desicritics
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Thoughts
'There is no one alive who is Youer than You'
So often in life, we find ourselves unadmittedly wanting to trade places with another, for reasons trivial. Before we know it we are consumed with desire, envy, and finally disease. Actually to be understood as dis-ease.
To be comfortable in ones skin, content in the bounties life has offered, secure in the knowledge that there is a plan for each one of us,happy to witness love by another and for another, euphoric at the success of others and finding in it reason to celebrate, are ways one can expand our consciousness from the immediate and mundane to levels which will transform our lives to reward us with health, happiness, vigour and compassion.
We owe it to ourselves to delve deep under the surface to discover the real person within. Life if viewed as a laboratory where experiences are only a method to arrive at the conclusion of the sum total of ourselves, will prove to be a saner option to overcome hiccups and in fact transform the same into an essential compound for the final result.
Just thoughts...
So often in life, we find ourselves unadmittedly wanting to trade places with another, for reasons trivial. Before we know it we are consumed with desire, envy, and finally disease. Actually to be understood as dis-ease.
To be comfortable in ones skin, content in the bounties life has offered, secure in the knowledge that there is a plan for each one of us,happy to witness love by another and for another, euphoric at the success of others and finding in it reason to celebrate, are ways one can expand our consciousness from the immediate and mundane to levels which will transform our lives to reward us with health, happiness, vigour and compassion.
We owe it to ourselves to delve deep under the surface to discover the real person within. Life if viewed as a laboratory where experiences are only a method to arrive at the conclusion of the sum total of ourselves, will prove to be a saner option to overcome hiccups and in fact transform the same into an essential compound for the final result.
Just thoughts...
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Aloha
Welcome aboard Anou,
If I have learnt anything from my present stint on planet earth, is to Know once and for all that we do not Know everything. I reckoned the quicker I learnt this dogma, maybe I would be spared from making my birthly visits on a continuous basis. Maybe, it will finally dawn on the One, that this one, Knows that she doesn't know and she deserves a break. Don't get me wrong. It isnt that bad. Just indulging my philosophical bone.
Unavoidable considering the circumstances we met in. Would turn anyone into a philosopher:) By now, all of you must have had it upto here, about how we met on the net and all of that. See, just goes to prove.. we really don't know what we are in for, till we know we are in it, and get out of it, not in the way we know. Know? I mean No?
To get to the point, I am hopeful that we are going to create a few ripples if not a storm on Sachiniti. What say?
So, welcome again..
If I have learnt anything from my present stint on planet earth, is to Know once and for all that we do not Know everything. I reckoned the quicker I learnt this dogma, maybe I would be spared from making my birthly visits on a continuous basis. Maybe, it will finally dawn on the One, that this one, Knows that she doesn't know and she deserves a break. Don't get me wrong. It isnt that bad. Just indulging my philosophical bone.
Unavoidable considering the circumstances we met in. Would turn anyone into a philosopher:) By now, all of you must have had it upto here, about how we met on the net and all of that. See, just goes to prove.. we really don't know what we are in for, till we know we are in it, and get out of it, not in the way we know. Know? I mean No?
To get to the point, I am hopeful that we are going to create a few ripples if not a storm on Sachiniti. What say?
So, welcome again..
hail fellow, well met
Kaveetaa and I met on the net.. a stormy beginning it was..
Yet when two people meet and sparks fly.. it is always a good sign as out of the sparks emerges a mellow fire that brings warmth and good feelings..
And then I have always held that nothing in life is fortuitous.. maybe this fiery beginning had to happen so that things could take off faster and grow.. I was deeply moved when Kaveetaa invited to write on her blog and told me I was the first to be asked..
I hope to be able to share my dreams and hopes for India, my admiration for its incredible women, my pride in the work I do and maybe sometimes my despair..
I am indebted to Kaveetaa for having helped me make a course correction in my twilight years: that of bringing the good things in the limelight and turning the spotlight on them.. something I always preach but sometimes fail to follow..
Before I end this first post i would just like to share a quotation from a woman I admire:
"I always introduce myself as an encyclopaedia of defects which I do not deny. Why should I? It took me a whole life to build myself as I am."
Oriana Fallaci
Yet when two people meet and sparks fly.. it is always a good sign as out of the sparks emerges a mellow fire that brings warmth and good feelings..
And then I have always held that nothing in life is fortuitous.. maybe this fiery beginning had to happen so that things could take off faster and grow.. I was deeply moved when Kaveetaa invited to write on her blog and told me I was the first to be asked..
I hope to be able to share my dreams and hopes for India, my admiration for its incredible women, my pride in the work I do and maybe sometimes my despair..
I am indebted to Kaveetaa for having helped me make a course correction in my twilight years: that of bringing the good things in the limelight and turning the spotlight on them.. something I always preach but sometimes fail to follow..
Before I end this first post i would just like to share a quotation from a woman I admire:
"I always introduce myself as an encyclopaedia of defects which I do not deny. Why should I? It took me a whole life to build myself as I am."
Oriana Fallaci
