Affirmations

To look upon life as a friend which has stood you in good stead, backing you on the 'ups' and supporting you on the 'downs, has its advantages. It never fails to provide you with reason to reinforce your faith in the truism of this tangibly elusive affirmation.

On my way to work and in between deadlines received this mail, by this truly amazing writer..Swati,informing me of my story, sent a while back, published on the NDTV website,by process of elimination

Hi Kaveetha,

Just a quick one to let you know that I was overwhelmed by your composition
eulogizing your dad. I lost my father in Nov 2000, quite unexpectedly as
well and I was in Delhi then completing my Grad. But i do remember that car
journey to dehradoon where I knew I'd have to go and face the inevitable and
pinching myself hard every few minutes hoping as hell that this would be a
nightmare.

Life's amazing isnt it. We all think our parents will be there forever and
you feel almost embarrased of being robbed of them. It feels like God's put
you in the naughty corner and all eyes are on you feeling sorry.

Your writing is brilliant and I felt like you were putting in words what i
feel when I see my mum being brave for us two girls.

I pray for your Dad and am sure he'd be very proud of you. Here's wishing
your mum and yourself alll the best for the future.

Warm wishes,
Swati.

Thanks Swati..There is nothing more fulfilling than the sound of your echo resounding in anothers' heart.

The pain of losing a parent was brilliantly put in her words.. "It feels like God's put you in the naughty corner and all eyes are on you feeling sorry."


Story published on NDTV

For R.D. Burman..On His Birthday.

“The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example."

Music is a passion that has catapulted me into realms of bliss and ecstasy at even the most despondent of times.

Among the ones who deserve special mention and a huge Thanks is Rahul dev Burman.. His art lives on and will continue forever..however cliched that may sound.

Memory is a clever thing..it maybe the relative of truth but not its twin.

Last night a bunch of us mad hatters who need no excuse to get together and sing out his numbers, found a valid reason. His birthday. So there we were an eclectic mix, in gay abandon, barbecuing, in this lilting, wet and utterly romantic weather at a Madh island bungalow juggling our memory and chasing to beat each other with the most delectable of his tunes.

My childhood years were spent close to R.D....not in the manner, most of you guys imagine, ears all perked up for juicy tattle. Its just that his bungalow, a quaint Burmese cottage with the most amazing exterior, was just a hop and a skip away from ours. I recall many a tale of his contributions to his erstwhile father S.D. Burmans music, from the tender age of 7, say some. I, for one would not disbelieve that. Finally during 'Aradhana' and due to the failing health of S.D., R.D. took over. The song "Roop tera mastana" which was one of the reasons for Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore becoming the craze of the nation, is claimed to be his effort. Never before did music have the sexual innuendo that was attempted by the music, rendition and flavour of this melody.

The common favourites in the lexicon are too many to enlist. Some of my personal favourites are the not so well known."Kya jaanoon sajan, hoti hai kya gham ki sham, jal uthe sau diye, jab liya tera naam" from "Bahaaron ke sapne"..years later my music tutor had challenged me that the day I render this one to perfection, he would grant that i have learnt light classical. In all fairness I confess that I am nowhere near perfection....But I love this number..as also "aaja piya, tohe pyaar doo gori baiyan tope war doo'...also" Hum bewafaa hargiz na the, par hum wafaa kar na sakey", sweet, soft, simple and touching.

Panchamda as he was fondly called.. a musician par excellence.. ahead of his times

He was the pioneer of rock and pop music in India without a doubt.It was R.D. Burman who truly brought the groove into Hindi Film Music, ushering in the era of electronic rock and providing Hindi film Music with a whole new 'happening' sound. His hip and energetic youthful compositions proved extremely popular from the late 1960s till the early to mid-1980s. The music arrangement of his songs is unparallelled and a source of inspiration(plagiarism) to many of the present lot. If imitation be the best form of flattery and all of that, then for sure the timelessnesss of his tunes and his genius is recognisable in most numbers today.

Destiny however plays a cruel trick on some phenomenal talents. Whether, Mirza ghalib, Van Gogh or R.D., their worth is evaluated after they have departed. His last years were spent in the misery of professional rejection, personal turmoil and financial constraints. His last films "Parinda" and later "1942 Love story" was released after his demise. How can anyone forget 'Kucchh na kaho..kucchh bhi naa kaho'..it gives me goose bumps even now...he could actually transport you into the make believe world he seems to have created just for you. It behooved no picturisation to enhance the richness of melody.

It would be heartening to know that he watches from somewhere to witness that he is not forgotten...to know that the pain of survival has been erased from his soul, what remains is the glory of an artist who has not died unsung.

“The fame of heroes owes little to the extent of their conquests and all to the success of the tributes paid to them.”

Triumph-Advantage Elephant

Have you noticed that we as humans have this tendency to break down the world into something digestible so that we can manipulate it with our minds? Not realising that the riske heuristic has the ability to close our minds. Any interruption becomes annoyance. A fertile enough ground to breed attitudes debilitating progress.

As if breaking out of the reverie, driving down a highway, far into the wilderness, braked screechingly. There before us was this huge masterpiece of Nature, in all its glory. Ele-phant, literally meaning Huge-arch in Latin. A light as if turned on inside. We stood inquisitively looking at each other. Intently watching, as if for signs of recognition.Elephantine memory , from a previous birth maybe? Who knows. Its just that this majestic intelligent animal had a strange effect on me.

He must have been around 9 ft tall (baby?) and in absolutely no hurry to go anywhere. It was as if he had condescended to grant us a privileged 'close up encouter' at leisure. We looked for something to feed him, as a token of gratitude for his largesse I suppose. All we could find in the middle of nowhere were knick knacks, biscuits and such like. Placing them in his trunk seemed a daunting task. So , carefully placed them within trunkable distance! And then came the struggle to get the biscuit into the fold and into his mouth. The hilarity of the situation was unmistakable.

A few clicks on our camera with each posing with the maharajah and we were on our way, smiling at the closeness of the bond which seemed to have developed . Animals and humans, so near yet so far? What is it that has brought on the distance?

This morning, however, pain and sadness could not be pried apart. Read this report.

I somehow felt responsible and ashamed at the destruction caused by our ignorance. How could they be blamed for the horror of land grab that made them homeless and agitated. There had to be answers. As if to perpetuate the memory of my chance encounter discovered this write up by an elephant lover who has dedicated her life to their conservation. What I read there only confirmed why the bond seemed so real and tangible.

"Each one is, of course, like us, a unique individual with its own unique personality. They can be happy or sad, volatile or placid. They display envy, jealousy, throw tantrums and are fiercely competitive, and they can develop hang-ups which are reflected in behaviour. They also have many additional attributes we humans lack; incredible long range infrasound, communicating in voices we never hear, such sophisticated hearing that even a footfall is heard far away, and, of course they have a memory that far surpasses ours and spans a lifetime. They grieve deeply for lost loved ones, even shedding tears and suffering depression. They have a sense of compassion that projects beyond their own kind and sometimes extends to others in distress. They help one another in adversity, miss an absent loved one, and when you know them really well, you can see that they even smile when having fun and are happy."

And they are now dying.. being killed for greed. I cannot bear to look at the ivory inlay table and ignore the horror that could have led to it being there. There are just about 30,000 left in India. In botswana they are being hunted out as they are perceived as a threat to the natural habitat of man!!

So the next time we go to the zoo or to a circus all we have to do is remember that an elephant grazes upto 20 hours a day in its own environment. Here it is kept in chains, without water and food to perform for 'fools' ( ask them what they feel about us from up there).

We as a collective people must take a stand and open our hearts and minds to obliterate ignorance that leads to destruction and finally extinction of another 'Masterpiece Of nature".. the gentlest and Largest of all land mammals.

Wonder what will ensue when bones of humans will sell in parity with ivory and space for humans will diminish?

Pakistan India- Blow Hot Blow Cold

The Great Indian laughter challenge, as the name indicates, is one of a kind, currently in its second series.

This time there was a motley crowd of participants including those from Pakistan. Talent on both sides of the border is unmistakable. To top it our sensibilities match. No surprise there considering there is little or no difference in language, habits, culture and ethnicity.

Any wonder then that yesteday the winner was announced and it was a Pakistani! One had expected it, not just from the fairness angle but also in keeping with the latest affirmations of cordiality between the two countries.. The Bus service to Ravalakote across the border was flagged off a couple of days earlier by Sonia Gandhi, amidst fanfare and hype.

Yet... Javed Akhtar the renowned poet, lyricist, writer, was denied a visa by the Pakistan Consulate!! He is Miffed- and rightly so. Because of the hue and cry raised by the media and others, he has been granted one on second thoughts.

MUMBAI: Javed Akhtar, who was granted a visa to visit Pakistan following the uproar provoked by the initial rejection, has asserted that he will tour the country only if its highest authority issues an apology. Akhtar was to lead a 50-member Indian delegation of prominent actors to attend the Karachi premiere of K Asif's magnum opus Mughal-e-Azam on Saturday.
Unquote.

The point I am trying to make is as follows: Will somebody please spell out just exactly where do we stand as neighbours? Are we presntly blowing hot, cold, lukewarm? Conflicting signals lead to unrest and dis-ease. Terrorism is as active as ever in POK, random acts of aggression are being reported sporadically all along the border. So while we honour the Pakistani artists who come to our country, singers, musicians, rock stars and the latest entrant in the laughter challenge( please note that the game show was Great INDIAN Laughter challenge- with a pakistani winner) yet Javed is denied visa!

Eunuchs..Time to Integrate?

Read this report on the BBC page .

The picture that comes to mind on hearing the term "Eunuch" is spontaneously one of a garishly dressed, overly madeup, loud gestured err.. person. What never fails to mesmerise me though is that much acclaimed and popularised hand clap, which has become a trade mark, thanks to the numerous Indian films incorporating it either to add color or lend a comic interlude. It was almost unbelievably vibrant, that hand clap, and so effortlessly did they sound their arrival. No need for ring tones there. At the risk of being looked upon as 'silly', I'd like to confess that I have spent many an hour trying to reproduce it with the same clarity and sharpness. That I have failed miserably, may also be noted.

Are we ready to accept them from the periphery of the fringes of our society into our midst? The report, as if to woo us, shows how a serious effort is underway to 'tone down' their lewd gestures and made up appearances, to change tactics, as if it were, to flow into mainstream society. Will that help erase the aeon long deeply ingrained vision in our psyche? Can we succeed in marginalising the stigma associated with the abnormality of their being. Harsh ..but true.

Speaking purely from the compassionate, tolerant and loving aspect of my nature, I can honestly state.."Why ..ofcourse,I will accept them, any time." But the question that arises is, in what capacity? Will I ever be able to view them as a friend,boss community leader, political leader, leader of their commune? If you notice each category mentioned, I inadvertently kept distancing them away from me, as if to retire back into my comfort zone. And the options that came last seemed most probable as one which would receive assent. Tell-tale..huh?

The matter under consideration should also be whether or not they will be successful in amalgamating themselves in our lifestyle and in our midst with ease and facility. Quite an uphill task , I presume. Being conditioned to live among those who unquestioningly embrace your presence, where nothing that you do, think, feel, desire is considered freaky or quirky, a zone of belongingness,well ensconced in a private parallel universe and then to open yourself to a world which has so far perceived you as a 'thing' that at best served to amuse, where temporarily good humored camaraderie was displayed and then wanted you OUT.. is a slippery slope. It would require guts, fortitude and a preparedness for mental anguish.. yet again.

To be born a eunuch, must require a lifetime of adjustments and conciliations. After having achieved a synchronocity with that milieu, to then extricate and present yourselves before a possibly alien and antagonistic world would be akin to bearing birth pangs all over again..

Why do we need subject them to this? Or why would they feel the desire to set out on this dauntingly Herculean effort?

Probably because the burning search for answers to the question "Why Me?" may not appear with such regularity and frequency , if they do carve a niche for themselves in our midst.

Acceptance is the cornerstone on the path to enrichment, fulfillment and eventually satisfaction. Acceptance by us, those who they probably consider the 'charmed ones' will turn the neon on the good that life has to offer.

Sexuality, or rather lack of it might just take the back seat in the high road of a life they deserve to enjoy as much.

Sincere efforts undertaken to reach out and touch their lives by involving ourselves in their personal stories and glories, fears and turmoils, needs and desires,will lessen, to a large extent the chasm which divides us and aid in a realisation of the commonality of the soul and its journey.

Let us begin thinking on these lines. The destination lies far ahead, the road unlit unpaved, uncharted. Let that not deter us. A little humaneness and diffidence to our conduct will help. It is a matter of proving to ourselves, we can be humane too. Perhaps we need a eunuch to help us realise that.

Global voices online has linked this post

Cross linked at Desipundit

Army Officer Susmita Chakraborty Commits Suicide

News of a suicide triggers off a feeling of intrigue as to the circumstances, first and foremost, followed by sadness at the finality of the act which negated hope. It is the strongest of all statements made by a human being expressing disgust, hopelessness and defeat. Silently.
When the suicide happens to be of a woman army oficer,(not the first in recet times) Susmita Chakraborty all the above emotions get amplified. The fact that she had opted for a career so pre-dominantly male in its intrinsic nature and majority enrollments, automatically empowered her with qualities deserving of applause. As also telling of being a determined, spirited go getter, having crossed the hurdles, broken centuries old shackles of tradition, customs and norms.

Ergo that such a person had to succumb to feelings of ineptitude in dealing with the cards fate seemed to have dealt, is a hundredfold tragic.It seemed as if she had to bow down , finally to the fact that she was born a woman!

This observation is not born of bias, any more than disgust. Its birthplace was the assertion by an army officer Vice Chief of Army Staff S. Pattabhiraman's reported statement that the 'Army can do without women'.

While giving him the benefit of the doubt, that his observation had more to do with the rigours the job entails and less to do with the obvious inferences of a prejudice against women, yet, one cannot help but assert that the army had a duty towards ensuring that new women recruits ought to have been accorded a 'Special job orientation' programme, in addition to counselling sessions that could alleviate such occurrences, in an effort to pre-empt their decision in recruiting women officers.

Had the Army betrayed her? According to news coverage on various channels, she was deeply disgruntled by the fact that she was put in fields which were contrary to her interest, not at par with her professional skills, which resulted in humiliation and demeaning, apparently. Her job entailed organising parties and looking after supplies. She had expressed her resentment at various junctures to the officers and her family. Resigning would have meant paying back a 'surety' which had been signed and which would have meant selling her parents home. Staying on was 'suicidal' for her. Literally.

Sadly, as in most cases, it is the starkness of an innocents death that finally shakes the powers who be out of their stupor of indifference into initiating preventive measures. In this case Sushmita had to die in order to make the Army awaken as to their inherent faulty structure.

Incidents of the kind could result in two totally diverse repurcussions. First, women candidates, may get inhibited at the 'fear of the unknown', fresh from initiatives to take on newer avenues , underlined by this suicide. Families and dear ones will sow further seeds of disapproval and disgust at the recriminations of a decision to venture into a field pre-dominantly male, alien and unwelcoming.

One cannot say with certainty that there is an absence of male prejudice towards women who do attempt to take on careers that epitomised male strength and stamina. That there is no male reservation to womens inclusion in this final male bastion, whereby their pride and ego receive a perceived 'blow' which states insiduously'whatever you can do I can do'..am intentionally not including 'better' to express unbias, would be erroneous. Merely playing the role of interlocutor.

The second option could in fact be the reverse,and get the future women cadets mentally prepared to expect the worst and give their best. It could serve as a lesson in gaging what not to do or expect in tandem with gearing them up attitudinally to combat the enemy within, before comabatting the enemy without.

Whatever the future course of action undertaken by either the army or women, one cannot deny the shattering of dreams and disillusionment of a young brave woman officer, who had crossed the threshold of the safety of her home to serve the nation 'tangibly' and all she was accorded in return was a relegating to the background jobs .A lowering of her self esteem to such an extent that she found it umworthy to live.

The least we can do is not exhibit indifference at the death of a young life snuffed out in its prime.

Update: Reacting to the discriminatory statements against women in the army, of Vice Chief of Army Staff S. Pattabhiraman's, BJP spokesperson Sushma Swaraj has demanded his suspension. The National Commision for Women has openly criticised his remarks..

Update: There was a growing suspicion that 'arranging parties'insiduously meant more than an innocent connotation, else why would Susmita have objected so strongly. A M.Sc (chemistry) had been compelled to metamorph into an 'event personnel'. Why the need to enroll in the army, had this been her goal? Clearly 'job dissatisfaction' and gender insensitivity, at more levels than one, was at stake here.


Update: Damage control exercises underway by the army. Latest statement
Women have done us proud: Army Chief

Teethwal (LoC), June 23 (UNI): Army Chief General J J Singh on Thursday said women have an important role to play in defence services and are a source of inspiration for others to join the armed forces.

"Women have done the Indian Army proud. They have always played an important role in the Army and other defence services. They will continue to play a vital role," Gen Singh told journalists here after inagurating the Teethwal model village.

He said the women have always been given challenging assignments and never let the Army down.
"We give women tough assignments and they have always proved their mettle and done exceedingly well. In fact, it has been proved time and again that the women are a source of inspiration for others to join the armed forces," the Army Chief added.
Gen Singh said women personnel have scaled heights in Army and other fields.
Cross linked at DesiPundit

NowPublic has linked this story

At The Receiving End

The BMC and its officiandos, with their activities or rather lack of it have been the bane of many a life in Mumbai. We suffer in the manner guided by our 'tattvas'(attributes)..'Satvik' mind would take the ignominies with beatific calm serenity exuding demeanour, The 'Tamasik" would drown further into depression and defeat, while the 'Rajsik' would take it as a clarion call to rid the scene of these corrupt creatures.. Where is the connection between Hinduism and B.M.C.? Heres another reaction to ineptitude of governing officials when citizens apart from pulling their hair in disgust, also turn to philosophy for help and guidance.

Just read the plight of two women who have been harassed beyond narration.

Please do your best in whatever capacity..

From my side, a strongly worded correspondence is going to reach the concerned officials soon.

Any coincidence that the suffering 'two' happen to be women?? Again!

Ah-Ah Not Kaveeta Kaul but Kaveetaa Kaul

Whats in a name..you might ask.. a rose by any other smells as sweet, or whatever.

But humans are allowed a few quirks .. distinguishable ones.
For me, its to do with being called Kaveetaa ( mark the extra a) and not Kaveeta, not kavita either.

Believe it or not, there is already another Kavita Kaul..bless her..as well as a kaveeta..

Not that it was the reason for my christening, just offered as proof of the propriety of my decision:)

To avoid ambiguity..in favour of all involved..wish therfore to clarify once again..me is Kaveetaa Kaul of Sachiniti.

So pals.. Kaveetaa kaul...welcomes you to her world!

Fatwa Against Vande Mataram

Islamic clerics have done it again! A fatwa has been issued against the singing of 'Vande mataram' by Muslim children.

Without indulging and succumbing to anger, outrage, revenge and retributive averments, let us attempt to make a balanced, unbiased assessment.

Beginning with the most obvious inferences before we progress to its supposedly manifold not so jejune implications.

Why now? Fifty nine years after Independence, and almost five years after the born again Muslim music Director A.R. Rahman had stylised the same in his rendition. Fishy and more than meets the eye, undoubtedly.

Does this resistance to include a National song in a school curriculum, in praise of ones motherland, come from the majority of the Muslims? Is the cleric merely the mouthpiece of these insiduous sentiments? Or, is the Islamic cleric once again trying to incite unrest by widening the chasm which originated with the British, never again returning to a status quo ?

In all probability, the work of idle minds, addicted to proving sporadically, how Muslim masses are putty in their hands.

In my humble opinion, it is time that the Muslim intelligentsia who clearly discern the irrationality behind these conflagrations, opt to speak, thus polaraising themselves from the Fundamentalists. It is imperative that the citizen of India is secure in the notion of secularism. Having said that we need to ascertain and feel assured also that our secularist tolerance is not being misconstrued. Those who second that India is their chosen land and respect for the motherland an accepted concept, ought to validify their residence by being vociferous NOW.

It is not enough that the Hindus voice outrage at this Fatwa, but Muslim brethren who have reasons to consider this their homeland, need elucidate their resentment in times such as these.

Hindus who utilise this turn of circumstance to now wage a war generically on all Muslims, with statements as 'Let them go to Pakistan, if they cannot respect our nationalistic sentiments, or adhere by them', will ignite an issue which needs to be viewed as a Fatwa and not a 'majority view point'. An over-the-top reaction can degenerate into unreasonability.

What is the 'locus standi' of a fatwa and whom does it control is a matter that the Islamists need to clarify and pontificate.

The law of the land, imho needs to be universal and supreme. Laws within laws within communities, is bound to lead to dissension and interests of people suffer in the confusion.

What this Fatwa seeks to do, prima facie is, challenge our constitution in its decision making powers while simultaneouly flagrantly exhibit the underbelly of secularism , in its consequential analysis.

While not denying that our Muslim brethren may have faced hiccups in certain areas of civilian life, yet with all the sense of fairness one can vouch that Muslims in India have enjoyed a fair deal in most spheres, political, economical, and social. They have prospered and multiplied in population and wealth, progressed shouder to shoulder with Indians as a whole.

Can our Hindu brethren in Pakistan, proclaim any of the above? Population of Hindus in Pakistan is a point in reference.

Consider this..on the one hand they demand a ban on Vande Mataram, on the other, DEMAND RESERVATION!!!

Incredulous!!

We, as a nation need to involve ourselves in issues which need public opinion to be mobilised.

"In the world it is called Tolerance, but in hell it is called Despair, the sin that believes in nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, and remains alive because there is nothing for which it will die."

Crosslinked DesiPundit

Kiss And Learn

So, here I was , incensed, fuming cursing and muttering at "that Mika", the sick Sikh, for taking advantage of Rakhi (Sawant), yanking her head back, planting a kiss on her mouth, amidst cheering crowds and a distraught Rakhi,expressing protest, which was totally disregarded, only to be subjugated to an action re-play!!!!!

"I dont believe this"..said me."After all, she has a right to say No..How dare he make a show of his bravado..she was not here to perform an item number..why confuse reel with real?..Demi Moore exposes too.. would she be pounced on thus and molested..these men..they dont want their sisters to dress this way , but these Brothers do love to watch dont they now..why is it decent to watch and indecent to wear.. atleast she wasnt leering and lusting at someone.. whats worse.. ogling or displaying"

All this while my 17 yr. old, tousle haired, just woken from his slumber, grogggily gazing at the frenetic pacing of his mother, waiting for it to stop..or so I presumed, stared vacantly .. when all of a sudden, he mumbled.."Malaika Arora Khan wears skimpier clothes, would Mika do this to her?"

I stopped dead in my tracks..eyed him steadily, as if for the first time. It did seem so.. I had no answer. This talk was meant to expose sonny to an irrational biased prejudiced thought process I so wanted him to be free of. He must respect women, IRRESPECTIVE. No matter what, my son was not going to be one of those creepy crawly males, who succumbed to pre conceived notions, victims of a closed mind.

And hence the tirade against Mika..

Now, continuing from the dead on tracks bit.. I was watching him, mouth agape. He continued.." You know my friend Katy, she dresses this way too, in fact all of my school mates wear minis and tees.. but theres no way I or my gang would misbehave with them.. They carry themselves well Mama..Neither will they ever cross the line nor will we..Maybe Rakhi gave Mika the impression that it was okay with her, whatever he did. She needed to draw the line in her behaviour at the party..and be careful of not being misunderstood.. more because of her reputation.. finally what would create a misunderstanding was what she said and how she behaved ..for that mattered.."

He continued .." what Mika did was totally wrong, but Rakhi had a role to play in it. She knew what happens at parties and been ready for disadvantages of the image she holds and made a greater effort than other girls to avoid trouble and kept her reserve."

These were irrefutable arguments. He was right. She must protest.. Her 'No' had to be regarded as just that... But she had left herself wide open ..

I understood his viewpoint..seemed to have gaged wrong by Mika and that of Rakhi. wanted to call hubby right away to give him the news that 'Sachin has grown up'.. into a fine young lad. If he could think that clearly in the morning, with a ranting mom, and a ferociously hungry tummy, then he was ALRIGHT..

Beaming from ear to ear.. I say to myself "I must have done something right!!"

Of course, it goes without saying ,had he displayed a bias, prejudice or irrationality..hubby would have been held in contempt and responsible!

****************************************

Armed with Malice

My experience in blogging has been enlightening in a lot of ways.The blogosphere is only a microcosm and a reflection of the macrocosm. Its not so difficult to understand why there are wars and communal breakouts and prejudices and all the pettiness which dictates a stooping down of human character which defies any logical rationale .

I have had the good fortune to meet some really humane, progressive and enlightened souls here whose writings have touched the depths of my soul and brought forth a feeling of well being and an urge to better myself. This has happened often enough to make me want to keep writing.

On the other hand there have been encounters with the truly imbecilic kinds who opt to be armed with 'malice for one and all", which once again make you wonder as to why do some people blog?

A case in point: I had written a post "Kiss and learn" which was a think back on the Rakhi Mika incident. Mikas taking advantage Of Rakhi, had appalled and disgusted me. My son, a young lad of 17, in an effort to perhaps calm me and rationalise the issue pointed out that it could been avoided PERHAPS with caveats on Rakhis behaviour.Maybe a caution for others..he attempted to say.

The Mikas of the world are not going to vanish in the blink of an eye? So where was the harm in advising to be wary?? Only a stunted mind would interpret this argument as 'inviting to molestation' or seconding it.

So someone who calls Himself/herself 'confused' (apt alias) and writes at 'retributions' " Life is a streetcar named Desire' leaves a rather harsh presumptuous comment on the blog. I am ALL for divergent viewpoints, so published it , without a second thought. But when somebody wants to DISTORT there is no limit to the UNREASONABILITY it can descend to.. which led to this remark by 'confused..An example of how the blogosphere for some is a space to exemplify their decayed, decadent persona:

"But you sons's statement that he would not misbehave with his schoolmates only because they carry themselves well is intrinsically wrong. If they are not able to carry themselves upto his standards, will he misbehave with them then?"

If you read the blog you will realise the extent of distortion here. Somersault in cyberspace! Turn the argument on its head.. Further the word 'only' was added for effect to mute the argument.So, in other words,he/she conveniently resorted to Hypothesise, conjecture, create a faulty premise, and scream out the deduction, all in one go.. ALL because it suits his rant. Logic, reasonability be damned!!

Whats interesting or rather abominable is that while he goes around beating his chest stridently proclaiming himself as a guardian of womens rights and need to respect them, all he does when it boils down to his own actions is Utter Disrespect for me and others. All his claims disappeared into thin air huh? Of course ‘practise before you preach is as alien a concept to him as UFO’s were to Neanderthals. Hypocrisy!!

As a thumbrule I treat people on my blog with respect as I would expect them to treat me and other commenters. Almost every post has seen the emergence of an argument with a commentator or another. Likewise, this time too, I responded patiently, explaining how perhaps our point of view had not come across in a small write up, and proceeded to explain thus:

"lets face it, when an incident that is so unsavoury in its flavour and has chances of it becoming the 'flavour of the season'then all concerned citizens try to analyse, dissect and postulate their stand in the hope that such and such like are not repeated"

and I continued "There is a difference between our perception of reality and reality as it is. It would be ideal if we women were allowed to just 'BE'..wear whatever, do our bit and live life in as fast a lane as our male counterparts. Till such time as this does not happen, its PRUDENT that we keep ourselves at bay from predators.

This was the point my son was making and I agreed. Cannot pretend Mika is not there..but can be careful when in his vicinity."

This is an excerpt, an example of the tone and effort to elucidate on the post. Later, a host of commenters left their comments., as usual. I then receive a comment from confused again which was aggressive, derogatory and bullish in its tone and which I decided not to include.

I have the right to moderate my blog and NOBODY is going to bully his/her way in to my blog. Somebody called Chandni commented too, which was a repetition of the previous post of confused, and which was clearly a 'support' post for confused. IT showed NO EVIDENCE of being a response.. which meant that all I had written in the morning had been IGNORED. All that would ensue was a fruitless back n forth. The attempt now was anti-ALL crusade. A "My opinion above all else" unshakable obstinacy.. It was not carrying the debate any further, on the contrary turning into a rant..endless rant heading to nowhereland !

Since I have a flourishing day job and other things to attend to as well.. I thought it best to ignore it and move on. Also the fact that there appeared to have been multiple postings as evident from ip addresses.

But for some its more important to stir up a storm,a rather than accept free will of bloggers to moderate unacceptable comments and act in complete contrariness to their preachings, asking for respect but not showing any! The term 'control freak' has been coined for such as these..

The matter was over as far as I was concerned. But the malicious, libelous, unfair post by her/him invited a response. My kindness and lackadaisical approach had been misconstrued as weakness I suppose.

So 'confused' gives it a dimension adopted by losers.

He has been banned from other sites as well for the same reason. What is glaringly obvious is an inability to tolerate rejection of his viewpoint. So while he can embark on a rampage trying to demolish people and their freedoms, others have to bow in servitude to his "confused' bickerings. I also wonder really why he/she keeps referring to himself/herself as '"WE"..How many aliases are there ?

Its funny you know, when people use handle names themselves , go around the blogosphere hiding their true identity, then come on to a blog of a woman who speaks of her concern for the decay in society and exposes her son for the first time .. ALL UNDER HER OWN IDENTITY..while this alias chooses to make it a shouting match behind a MASK then makes a show of some GALLANTRY by ranting on his blog..This is not just HYPOCRISY.. but delusional sense of RIGHTEOUSNESS and lack of DECENCY..

All one needs to do is read the relevant post and my comments .

Soon this post will go lower and the matter will be forgotten. In fact I am purging it out of my system simultaneously while writing it.

I will continue to speak on matters which deserve attention, as I have on this matter, since I have a daughter who is in her twenties and can imagine that girls her age need guidance to face the predators. This post was an atttempt to do just that. Nobody can enforce views and people learn only when they are ready to.

Words are alive.. cut them and they bleed. Hope all who write on cyberspace would realise that and make an honest committment and effort to cultivate gentleness and kindness in speech. Debating, arguing, presenting your point can be done in a manner which desists from stepping on peoples toes. There are ample examples of a civilised discussion. If you dont adopt it then others will exercise their right to keep you away.

Viewing the larger picture from a broader perspective,if we cannot make somebodys day, why spoil it for them?



Anonymous left this comment ".a 'confused' mind equates vindictiveness with peace , defaming with contentment, and retribution with vindication."

Since my efforts at resting the contentious debate have been met with consistent indecency, I have no recourse but to solicit legal advice.

Malaysia-Truly Asia Or Truly Shocking!

Dont get misled by the title of the post. This is definitely not another advertisement for Malaysia.

I have just read the open letter to Manmohan Singh, written by a girl of Indian origin settled in Malaysia.

Come to your own conclusions.There is little I can add here. It seems an extension of the previous post.

Hissing Groom

The worlds an assortment of strange events, some funny some horrendous, others tragic and some weird. Yet others which defy description..at least to me. I am flummoxed. Maybe one of you can provide us with a clue .

It was recently reported that a woman got married to a snake. A story I read on Indianpad.

What could have been her motivation? Was it truly a choice? Honestly I cannot decide whether amusement is the reaction I feel or despair at this example of Indian tradition (it is not the first) so rooted in beliefs which trigger queries whether progress in India is ever going to arrive at the doorsteps of our villagers, or will there always be a disparity of such giant proportions between metro life and rural life?

Oh well.. atleast it will keep her safe from in-laws..No dowry death for this maiden!

Yes Minister!! No Fanaa

A gnawing sense of restlessness had taken over as the reality of Fanaa not being released in Gujarat took on actuality.

Were Indians in danger of being dictated to by the poilitical parties as to what we should be viewing? Was this a decision taken by the majority of the populace of Gujarat ? Or were they too chicken to oppose it? Was cultural policing also going to be the mantle of politicians? And finally where will it end?

It was bad enough that Aamir Khans stand had been misconstrued, manipulated and intentionally sensationalised to rationalise the extreme uproar by the politicians. But to hit out professionally for the sole purpose of demonstrating clout is unaccceptable.

It is time that we make it amply clear to the Politicians "Minister Saab..run the country ..not my life!"

Mahesh bhatt has filed a PIL in the Supreme court to this effect.

Being blackmailed into accepting a Hitler-ish stand point , would have sounded the death knell of any star participation in social causes. which would have been a pity. After all, lets face it, their word holds value and their presence gives weightage to an issue. Why penalise a celebrity for trying to make a difference in whatever manner he/she deems fit?

It is quite exasperating to envision an India where we are outwardly modern, emancipated, well on the shores of development..yet a prey to the machinations of political agendas.

Where are the so-called "young turks" of our political scenario? Is their silence a clue as to the power that is wielded by the bosses who matter in Gujarat, or is it not politically correct(pun intended) to grant their visage and vocals to a cause which imperils just a Film?

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