Hardly the kind of post expected after a vacation.. I agree.
A chance meeting with a close friend,surviving the trauma of a broken relationship, triggered off this most disconcerting affirmation. If there is one sphere of modern life which has witnessed such huge fluctuations in intensity, it is relationships.
"He's changed..drastically"..she said."Hes not the person I married. I just dont feel the same way about him. The magic has gone out of the relationship." All I asked her was if she was the same woman he had married. She admitted that it was difficult for her to identify herself with her actions and words. She had lost herself somewhere, along the way.
The only constant is change, said our sages. This is one area that demands we rekindle the light of this wisdom. Relationships are in a constant state of flux. To expect stability is one thing but to link it with a plateau -ed emotional level, is blasphemy.
All said and done, a man and a woman were meant to be with, for each other. The need although unquestionable, is also a major factor for discontent. Why do we interpret 'dependence' as a cause for abject misery? Or for that matter an ensuing' state of denial', as to the versimilitude of the fact that it is two halves which make a whole.
So what is the furore in perceiving oneself as a 'half' in this context? It will certainly not connote a fractured existence, contrarily a doubled one.
All around me , I notice failed marriages, relationships, stressful lives wrought with frustrations of unhappiness stemming from the paucity of that single emotion LOVE which does indeed 'make the world go round'. Whether in a tail spin or whirl of delight is the contention.
Nothing can come close to the exhilaration of the first flush of romance, the budding of a thousand hopes and dreams, the whisper of a promised land of undying happiness. If there is anything more enchanting than the child of a smile, it is the smile of a woman who has tasted the nectar of love.
What is saddeningly true , however, is its transcience. While on the one hand it would be hopelessly naive to believe that it will constantly be a tale of romantic days and nights,on the other hand , for something so divine to dwindle down to hate, disgust and disillusionment, is tragic.
Why does this happen? And so often? More a rule than an exception today. Yes, 'today' moreso. Lets face it we are more analytical, incisive, questioning than our fathers and forefathers. While this may have proved so profitable in wordly matters, in inter-personal relationships it has proved to be a downer. If we are happy, we spend time analysing, dissecting 'why'..and if unhappy then naturally, the brooding is endless.If he loves you ..there is 'why' and fears , doubts 'what if he deserts me'. If he/she leaves then ofcourse again 'Why'?
Sometimes to accept without doubt, or simply without rhyme or reason, is not only less traumatic, but painless and uncomplicated as well. Just be.. in love. But wait..
This 'many splendoured thing', is it really as pleasurable, blissful, ethereal as touted by poets, writers, legends we have been fed on. If it is , why is it so ephemeral? So slippery, it nimbly slides through the fingertips as a butterflies wings. Or so we think.The truth being that we dont really give love a chance.
Without attempting to take on a biased stance, either for or against either gender, what is glaringly apparent is the fact that we as a race have forgotten how to perceive love. Apart from its physical aspect. Infact , what it has degenerated into is just that.. 'physical'. Since 'it' can never sustain a relationship, and since caring, respect and acceptance have not taken on an 'expression', soon the emptiness and hollowness of the once blossoming , wholesome vibration, surfaces.
Who is to blame? For one, the Mills and Boon, Barbara Cartland, When Harry met Sally, Pretty woman, type fairy tales of love. Our youthful days are fed on a diet of fun, frolic, jazzy, funky, cheesy, glitzy, rose tinted glasses prism of love. It may seem ever-so-perfect, but is like the 'chocolate house' in the fairy tale, where the old woman lured children only to cook them for her next meal. Without meaning to stultify the debate, the idea is to propound the theory of 'fairy tale romances' as a culprit.
We all love "love stories. The problem lies in our unswerving aim to replicate it in our lives. Bound to lead to disgruntlement, dissatisfaction, frustration and then a drifting apart.. in that order.
Love is a Verb. Relationships moreso. It requires, doing. More often than not, once the 'time to disco' begins to develop cracks, there is nothing to fall back on. Life without the tints, is harsh, stark and ruthless. But where is the orientation for honing coping skills? Movies.. end at marriage. Life, begins then.
Lets question our innermost subtle motives, honestly. We tend to love a person not for what he/she is, but for what they make us feel about ourselves. It is what we transform into while in their midst. So primarily, true love is within. Looking for it outside is erroneous.
Having experienced the emotion in all its glory, why does it fade away? We begin to see more of what is unacceptable, simultaneously ignoring what is acceptable. Familiarity breeds contempt.. If this be true can love, therefore which thrives on familiarity, intrinsically, survive in this scenario?
Yes. If we ponder long enough over this wise crack "“Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Must Read
Hey Guys,
Miss you too.
Meanwhile, I suggest you go to this e-mag by Kavita Chhibber.
Not only is it a great read, but Kavita is one of the most loving, caring and warm human beings I have had the good fortune to encounter. That she is an erudite journalist is a given and only contributes to the success of her mag.
More Power to you Kavita..(psst..is it a mere coincidence that kavi/eetas are err..nice?)
So go on and visit the site.
Even on vacation I had a quick 'dekho'.. could not resist it.
Miss you too.
Meanwhile, I suggest you go to this e-mag by Kavita Chhibber.
Not only is it a great read, but Kavita is one of the most loving, caring and warm human beings I have had the good fortune to encounter. That she is an erudite journalist is a given and only contributes to the success of her mag.
More Power to you Kavita..(psst..is it a mere coincidence that kavi/eetas are err..nice?)
So go on and visit the site.
Even on vacation I had a quick 'dekho'.. could not resist it.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
A Note from Afar
sachiniti
Lazy, langurous, lush mornings
Cool, chirpy and calm.
afternoons lulling peacefully
in Natures warm embrace.
Candle-lit, aroma-ed, delectable evenings,
with memories of sun-kissed sand.
The search continues unabated
Reading
Long into the night.
Hey Guys.. you guessed right...Am on vacation
Will be back soon.
Lazy, langurous, lush mornings
Cool, chirpy and calm.
afternoons lulling peacefully
in Natures warm embrace.
Candle-lit, aroma-ed, delectable evenings,
with memories of sun-kissed sand.
The search continues unabated
Reading
Long into the night.
Hey Guys.. you guessed right...Am on vacation
Will be back soon.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Challenging Love:Siblings
One has often wondered at the truism of the statement 'You are your relationships'. An all encompassing canvas here. Includes, marriage partners, partners at work, social acquaintances, friends and siblings.
The other wisecrack that has vindicated itself from ancient times right down to our present is "God gave us our relatives, thank God we can choose our friends". Cynically true.So the fact that we were born under a particular set of circumstances, with a designated family, extended family, locality, state, nation, is of greater significance than we care to imagine. We can better it (by choosing our friends{wicked smirk}) cannot reverse it.
We are meant to learn and discover ourselves through these realtionships which provide us with the opportunity to bring to the surface traits which we had no inkling existed in our mentality. Good or bad, again is part of destiny, I suppose.
There have been enough incidents in the news to ignore the phenomenon of one of the relationships, namely siblings. It seems in major trouble. Why is there such a paucity of genuine caring, love and concern between siblings today? It has degenerated to the extent of rivalry, not restricted to the purely psychological but manifesting itself through actual violence! Surprising and frightening.
It is easy to condemn but difficult to analyse the factors which contribute so keenly to the widespread almost ubiquitous display. In fact, love between siblings is an exceptional case, whilst rivalry the norm, that too accepted without any visible signs of amazement.
The foremost reason ,prima facie, points towards parents. Whilst it cannot be the sole, it is a major contributory. In my humble opinion, inadvertently, parents sow the seeds of dissension in childhood. How? Consider this:
1) Comparison as a tool for betterment. While the reason to do so may be innocent, the resultant effect is definitely grievous. The lesser one feels animosity and soon resentment has found a breeding ground.
2) Partiality.. for one reason or another. For example, normally parents tend to adore obvious displays of affection and verbal, physical manifestations of emotion. Some children who are quieter or reserved may feel their inability to express ,a deterrent which only gets worse with time as the parental love with the other gets stronger in contrast to his. Quite a catch 22.
3) Parents open keenness on material comforts and gains. It sends the wrong signals to kids that material posessions and advancement is legitimate..Parents approval is present, so long as gains accrue. This may or may not be the sole purose of the other childs existence or on his list of priorities and capabilities.
4)In this scenario, if parents then begin favouring the wealthier and consider him above reproach, by virtue of his success story, the damage is untold. Whether children openly declare or keep it under wraps, the need for parental approval and back patting is a necessary ingredient .When both success and collaterally parental encouragement is lacking, resentment is bound to be the fallout.
5) Parents relationship with their own siblings. Is it a story of sacrifice and tolerance, an exemplification of love beyond all other concerns, or a tale of endless complaints and resentments? Children are keen imitators and quick learners. Why would they wish to do any different?
6) The importance of a neat, clean, life in terms of ethics, morals, principles and outlook. Has this been sufficiently ingrained?
These are what comes to mind in a general context. Situations vary and there may be so many more which are specific to the particular circumstance.
Yesterday, on a visit to the newest addition of swanky restaurants of Khar(btw it is the centre of town these days..old order changeth)on the occasion of sonnys birthday, happened to bump into a class mate from college. She had married into a well known celebrity family in Mumbai, while in college itself, much in keeping with the traditional concept of womanhood, at the time.
My first reaction to myself on seeing her "Gosh, where has the glow disappeared??" Of course this had nothing to do with the fact that she was not in her teens now and all of that. It had more to do with the blank smile, vacant gaze and a certain melancholy which seemed apparent even in the first few minutes.
It had visibly upset me to see her this way. Perhaps sensing my concern and my hesitation to openly enquire , she took me aside and broke down. This is what she had to say. Her father-in-law was the brother of the celebrity of sorts, who had been handling his career. Being the elder he felt obliged to. Also being the lesser in worldly -wise business sense he relented to the younger and his good offices, taking care of financial investments which the two had made over the years, apart from their family business.
In a nut-shell, despite reminders by the elder to make clear-cut demarcations of property and allocation of funds, the younger delayed with sweetness personnified and averments of the kind"Do you think Brother, that I will ever dupe you?"
Her father-in-law recently expired. All hell broke loose when the sons and mother realised that they were literally at the mercy of the younger on for every morsel, so-to-speak. The sons were furious, understandably. They threatened legal action. The younger, probably in anticipation of this eventuality, showed his hand. He was the legal owner of their apartment, factories and plots. So go scream at the gulls now!!
Net result. My friend and her family find themselves fending off the bank, who has threatened to sue , since the instalments have been discontinued. Her husband has had to take up acting assignments to make a living. And she sells Insurance.. which as the tag says , is a matter of solicitation.
The fact that one is born from the same parents, does not make us brothers and sisters. It merely makes us SIBLINGS. To be a family, in the true spirit, requires a lifetime of sacrifices, tolerance, patience and a will to be worthy of being called so.
In the meanwhile, I find myself trying to unearth stories from our ancient texts to glorify sibling love to my kids, since the media and newspapers have made a Taliban of the situation. How does one explain to them that it is an unnatural sequence of event , NOT to care for your family. There is a purpose to having been born from the same mother.. If only to learn that life as teacher is not easy to contend with. You dont always get what you want or deserve.
However, what we take back from our sojourn here on the planet, in terms of memories, love and happiness should be richer in content than what had been dished out. Or it has been a total loss.
Update 3rd May06..
The trigger for this post has taken on a rather tragic turn
Have just received the news of the death of Mr.Promod Mahajan.Extremely sad and shocking.History will link the name of Mr. Mahajan with the name of his brother Pravin, to stand as testimonial forever of Sibling Rivalry in its most demonic and deplorable manifestation.
An elder brother who paid with his life for the jealousy and envy of a younger sibling, whom he had brought up as his own son. A younger brother who was blinded by his frustration at not being as celebrated as his older brother, succumbed to traits which are the bane of humanity.
This proves once and for all that merely being born of the same mother is no guarantee of being a brother in its most appropriate connotation... He was just a Sibling. One to who enmity was reason enough to shed that blood by which they were bound.
Shame.. A testimonial forever now of the degeneration of our morals. India once the land of the rishis and the maharishis, is today one of criminals and criminilisation of every aspect of social, political, personal life.
A truly sad day for India..To be such a spectacle in the eyes of the world..Am too overcome to think of further ramifications to this ghastly episode.
The other wisecrack that has vindicated itself from ancient times right down to our present is "God gave us our relatives, thank God we can choose our friends". Cynically true.So the fact that we were born under a particular set of circumstances, with a designated family, extended family, locality, state, nation, is of greater significance than we care to imagine. We can better it (by choosing our friends{wicked smirk}) cannot reverse it.
We are meant to learn and discover ourselves through these realtionships which provide us with the opportunity to bring to the surface traits which we had no inkling existed in our mentality. Good or bad, again is part of destiny, I suppose.
There have been enough incidents in the news to ignore the phenomenon of one of the relationships, namely siblings. It seems in major trouble. Why is there such a paucity of genuine caring, love and concern between siblings today? It has degenerated to the extent of rivalry, not restricted to the purely psychological but manifesting itself through actual violence! Surprising and frightening.
It is easy to condemn but difficult to analyse the factors which contribute so keenly to the widespread almost ubiquitous display. In fact, love between siblings is an exceptional case, whilst rivalry the norm, that too accepted without any visible signs of amazement.
The foremost reason ,prima facie, points towards parents. Whilst it cannot be the sole, it is a major contributory. In my humble opinion, inadvertently, parents sow the seeds of dissension in childhood. How? Consider this:
1) Comparison as a tool for betterment. While the reason to do so may be innocent, the resultant effect is definitely grievous. The lesser one feels animosity and soon resentment has found a breeding ground.
2) Partiality.. for one reason or another. For example, normally parents tend to adore obvious displays of affection and verbal, physical manifestations of emotion. Some children who are quieter or reserved may feel their inability to express ,a deterrent which only gets worse with time as the parental love with the other gets stronger in contrast to his. Quite a catch 22.
3) Parents open keenness on material comforts and gains. It sends the wrong signals to kids that material posessions and advancement is legitimate..Parents approval is present, so long as gains accrue. This may or may not be the sole purose of the other childs existence or on his list of priorities and capabilities.
4)In this scenario, if parents then begin favouring the wealthier and consider him above reproach, by virtue of his success story, the damage is untold. Whether children openly declare or keep it under wraps, the need for parental approval and back patting is a necessary ingredient .When both success and collaterally parental encouragement is lacking, resentment is bound to be the fallout.
5) Parents relationship with their own siblings. Is it a story of sacrifice and tolerance, an exemplification of love beyond all other concerns, or a tale of endless complaints and resentments? Children are keen imitators and quick learners. Why would they wish to do any different?
6) The importance of a neat, clean, life in terms of ethics, morals, principles and outlook. Has this been sufficiently ingrained?
These are what comes to mind in a general context. Situations vary and there may be so many more which are specific to the particular circumstance.
Yesterday, on a visit to the newest addition of swanky restaurants of Khar(btw it is the centre of town these days..old order changeth)on the occasion of sonnys birthday, happened to bump into a class mate from college. She had married into a well known celebrity family in Mumbai, while in college itself, much in keeping with the traditional concept of womanhood, at the time.
My first reaction to myself on seeing her "Gosh, where has the glow disappeared??" Of course this had nothing to do with the fact that she was not in her teens now and all of that. It had more to do with the blank smile, vacant gaze and a certain melancholy which seemed apparent even in the first few minutes.
It had visibly upset me to see her this way. Perhaps sensing my concern and my hesitation to openly enquire , she took me aside and broke down. This is what she had to say. Her father-in-law was the brother of the celebrity of sorts, who had been handling his career. Being the elder he felt obliged to. Also being the lesser in worldly -wise business sense he relented to the younger and his good offices, taking care of financial investments which the two had made over the years, apart from their family business.
In a nut-shell, despite reminders by the elder to make clear-cut demarcations of property and allocation of funds, the younger delayed with sweetness personnified and averments of the kind"Do you think Brother, that I will ever dupe you?"
Her father-in-law recently expired. All hell broke loose when the sons and mother realised that they were literally at the mercy of the younger on for every morsel, so-to-speak. The sons were furious, understandably. They threatened legal action. The younger, probably in anticipation of this eventuality, showed his hand. He was the legal owner of their apartment, factories and plots. So go scream at the gulls now!!
Net result. My friend and her family find themselves fending off the bank, who has threatened to sue , since the instalments have been discontinued. Her husband has had to take up acting assignments to make a living. And she sells Insurance.. which as the tag says , is a matter of solicitation.
The fact that one is born from the same parents, does not make us brothers and sisters. It merely makes us SIBLINGS. To be a family, in the true spirit, requires a lifetime of sacrifices, tolerance, patience and a will to be worthy of being called so.
In the meanwhile, I find myself trying to unearth stories from our ancient texts to glorify sibling love to my kids, since the media and newspapers have made a Taliban of the situation. How does one explain to them that it is an unnatural sequence of event , NOT to care for your family. There is a purpose to having been born from the same mother.. If only to learn that life as teacher is not easy to contend with. You dont always get what you want or deserve.
However, what we take back from our sojourn here on the planet, in terms of memories, love and happiness should be richer in content than what had been dished out. Or it has been a total loss.
Update 3rd May06..
The trigger for this post has taken on a rather tragic turn
Have just received the news of the death of Mr.Promod Mahajan.Extremely sad and shocking.History will link the name of Mr. Mahajan with the name of his brother Pravin, to stand as testimonial forever of Sibling Rivalry in its most demonic and deplorable manifestation.
An elder brother who paid with his life for the jealousy and envy of a younger sibling, whom he had brought up as his own son. A younger brother who was blinded by his frustration at not being as celebrated as his older brother, succumbed to traits which are the bane of humanity.
This proves once and for all that merely being born of the same mother is no guarantee of being a brother in its most appropriate connotation... He was just a Sibling. One to who enmity was reason enough to shed that blood by which they were bound.
Shame.. A testimonial forever now of the degeneration of our morals. India once the land of the rishis and the maharishis, is today one of criminals and criminilisation of every aspect of social, political, personal life.
A truly sad day for India..To be such a spectacle in the eyes of the world..Am too overcome to think of further ramifications to this ghastly episode.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Sati, Suicide, Murder, Rose-Whats In A Name
India, the land of mystics and mysticism, snakes and snake charmers, elephants and mahouts, Maharishis and Maharajas.
While all of the above fail to make news any more and are nearly as extinct as the soon to be 'black buck' of Salman Khan fame..what lives on is Sati- a ritual where the widow burns herself on the funeral pyre of her husband.
A recent incident invited attention to this dehumnanising practise which Raja ram Mohan Roy and Lord William Bentick had abolished almost 175 years back, or so it appeared.
It is alive(?) and well in rural India. There are almost 250 temples in the country with a continuous flow of devotees. The most high profile and hyped self-immolation was that of Roop Kanwar, all of 19, who died on the pyre of her 75 year old husband. There have been scores which have gone unreported, for every one with its story in print.
History bears evidence that this practise was adopted to save the widows from being captured alive by attacking forces,of the neighbouring countries. What has remained under wraps however is whether the act itself was intentional or one of coercion due to various factors. There have been rampant incidents of aspersions cast on the dishonorable intentions of relatives who, in their avarice and greed for the wealth/property of the deceased would rather have the widow 'out of' the fight for inheritance.Therefore, cloaked in fanfare and ritualistic 'tamasha' the innocent and helpless wife found herself burnt alive, and a temple built, as a mute evidence of the most heinous of crimes. A 'halloed honor ' for a murder most foul.
"Sati-Mata"..Right.. So long as she graces the temple as a stone idol!
The Sati(Prevention) Act of 1987, minus teeth, was unsuccessful in curbing the practise. What is heartening is the news reported by The Times Of India that a bill to the effect of putting the onus on preventing sati on the family and village, is under way..A bill incorporating new clauses will be introduced soon in the Parliament where"it will be presumed that the sati was attempted under duress and that the immediate family was in a position to stop her but did not." a progressive piece of legislation where the proposed law makes no distinction between 'passive observers and abettors'.
The widow, will thus be protected by law from being coerced to end her life if destiny has decided to end her husbands. Fair enough. Would that however spell financial relief, social acceptance, and familial respect? NO. A society which has been anaesthetised into accepting an age old practise as mere spectators has also in the process convinced itself of its validity and relevance. Judicial intervention is not going to be welcomed with alacrity.
"How can we stop her from committing suicide?" In all probability this will be the resigned response from relatives of another widow, from that community when news of her death surfaces. Sati, albeit , a new name, Suicide.
Women Dispensation is the reality, Women Empowerment .. a myth
Consider for the sake of hypothesis, that the widow does genuinely care enough for her deceased husband. Would she even in the given scenario agree to extinguish her life or opt for it under duress? Or the fact that she fears for her safety in any case? This itself is a relection of the bindings and social stigma at work in rural India.
So India is a land of diversities.. Whats new about that!! nothing.. Here is another reason 'To Die for'..latest report of a Dowry death.
I love my country..Which other, the world over, boasts of such ingenuous methods and reasons for murder?
While all of the above fail to make news any more and are nearly as extinct as the soon to be 'black buck' of Salman Khan fame..what lives on is Sati- a ritual where the widow burns herself on the funeral pyre of her husband.
A recent incident invited attention to this dehumnanising practise which Raja ram Mohan Roy and Lord William Bentick had abolished almost 175 years back, or so it appeared.
It is alive(?) and well in rural India. There are almost 250 temples in the country with a continuous flow of devotees. The most high profile and hyped self-immolation was that of Roop Kanwar, all of 19, who died on the pyre of her 75 year old husband. There have been scores which have gone unreported, for every one with its story in print.
History bears evidence that this practise was adopted to save the widows from being captured alive by attacking forces,of the neighbouring countries. What has remained under wraps however is whether the act itself was intentional or one of coercion due to various factors. There have been rampant incidents of aspersions cast on the dishonorable intentions of relatives who, in their avarice and greed for the wealth/property of the deceased would rather have the widow 'out of' the fight for inheritance.Therefore, cloaked in fanfare and ritualistic 'tamasha' the innocent and helpless wife found herself burnt alive, and a temple built, as a mute evidence of the most heinous of crimes. A 'halloed honor ' for a murder most foul.
"Sati-Mata"..Right.. So long as she graces the temple as a stone idol!
The Sati(Prevention) Act of 1987, minus teeth, was unsuccessful in curbing the practise. What is heartening is the news reported by The Times Of India that a bill to the effect of putting the onus on preventing sati on the family and village, is under way..A bill incorporating new clauses will be introduced soon in the Parliament where"it will be presumed that the sati was attempted under duress and that the immediate family was in a position to stop her but did not." a progressive piece of legislation where the proposed law makes no distinction between 'passive observers and abettors'.
The widow, will thus be protected by law from being coerced to end her life if destiny has decided to end her husbands. Fair enough. Would that however spell financial relief, social acceptance, and familial respect? NO. A society which has been anaesthetised into accepting an age old practise as mere spectators has also in the process convinced itself of its validity and relevance. Judicial intervention is not going to be welcomed with alacrity.
"How can we stop her from committing suicide?" In all probability this will be the resigned response from relatives of another widow, from that community when news of her death surfaces. Sati, albeit , a new name, Suicide.
Women Dispensation is the reality, Women Empowerment .. a myth
Consider for the sake of hypothesis, that the widow does genuinely care enough for her deceased husband. Would she even in the given scenario agree to extinguish her life or opt for it under duress? Or the fact that she fears for her safety in any case? This itself is a relection of the bindings and social stigma at work in rural India.
So India is a land of diversities.. Whats new about that!! nothing.. Here is another reason 'To Die for'..latest report of a Dowry death.
I love my country..Which other, the world over, boasts of such ingenuous methods and reasons for murder?
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Just Some News
Since I hadnt checked on the technorati links for almost a week, decided to do that. And look what I found..This!! For me n my Sachiniti..awww.. I am so touched.
Few things in life get you all weepy,grateful and humbled!
I want to really thank all those who have bothered to listen. Just to see the site meter clicking was enough proof that you all were here. A special mmmuuaahh ofcourse to those who have been so kind and wonderful with their comments.
Gosh!!..must check myself.. before I begin to thank my parents, hubby, kiddies, doggy. neighbours..and make it sound like Rekhas lifetime achievement award speech..I will sign off.
Waving.. a flying kiss with my tear laden lace kerchief.. Marilyn Monroe-ish..
Few things in life get you all weepy,grateful and humbled!
I want to really thank all those who have bothered to listen. Just to see the site meter clicking was enough proof that you all were here. A special mmmuuaahh ofcourse to those who have been so kind and wonderful with their comments.
Gosh!!..must check myself.. before I begin to thank my parents, hubby, kiddies, doggy. neighbours..and make it sound like Rekhas lifetime achievement award speech..I will sign off.
Waving.. a flying kiss with my tear laden lace kerchief.. Marilyn Monroe-ish..
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Masks
"A mask tells us more than a face.”
If there is something which is ubiquitous, across the board, ethnicities, cultures, nations, nationalities, races, civilisations..it is the irrepressible tendency of humans to mask..as in a verb. Their intentions, desires, moods, temperament, in fact their whole personality.
Strange isnt it? I mean you spend a lifetime becoming what you are and then spend a major part of it masking that. So then, why did you get to be that in the first place? (funny.. how much one can convey just with the usage of prepositions!)
Is there then "Cinderella time" for the clock to strike and the mask to melt away into nothingness, or does it after a while become a fixture, beneath which only a shadow of the original exists, wrinkled, jaded, shrivelled!
Given the present scenario, how does one then operate? Does one have to have one as well? A social mask for a masked society? I wonder then if one gets aware of the circumstance of donning it or does it magically appear at will, a la Superman/woman, spiderman/woman, catman/woman..will have to ask son for further references..
And Truth? What of that? Oh! it shines through.. at times.. when in love and the one beneath decides to unburden the tragedy of his being and revel in the freedom of just Being, in the hope of acceptance on 'an as is where is basis'..not long before time decides to unleash its seasonal fury and the mask of the other gets blown away to smithereens to reveal who? A stranger...ah Well! all in the game of life.
Come to think of it, is it really that 'all pervasive', this mask business ? Lets look around.. internet..hmm pseudonyms, friends...reliable?naah, family.. of course.. 'blood is thicker than water and all that'..yeah Pravin proved that by actually shedding it..and us? Well me.. I write under my own name, have been attacked since times immemorial because of my inability to cloak my feelings, so thats two+.. as for the rest well who knows ..am yet in the process of discovering.
Difficult process.. if you ask me.. since one is unable to decipher when it came on or if it has come on at all? Scary .. It strikes surreptitiously and is so infectious. By merely looking at one , there are grave chances of it manifesting with alarming equality or greater proportion on to you.And before you know it hey presto! there you are responding, reverberating, echoing, tones, voices, accents, attitudes..
“Our masks, always in peril of smearing or cracking, in need of continuous check in the mirror or silverware, keep us in thrall to ourselves, concerned with our surfaces.” ..Tricky business this.. make, preserve, modernise, refresh, re-mix,chameleon like:)( No reference to you CK. just so apt for the point)
Then why even bother? Why not just BE? Savour the freedom of your own emotions, thughts, personality, ideas.. Because 'No one is more youer than you'.. and as long as it is you who loves your self, why bother if the world does , one way or the other? It is the one in the mirror who has to smile back..the world's smile maybe the mask of a clowns, in any case.. who knows?
'Summon all the strength to rip off that mask'..Oxygenate, Live and Love. You come by this way just once..
If there is something which is ubiquitous, across the board, ethnicities, cultures, nations, nationalities, races, civilisations..it is the irrepressible tendency of humans to mask..as in a verb. Their intentions, desires, moods, temperament, in fact their whole personality.
Strange isnt it? I mean you spend a lifetime becoming what you are and then spend a major part of it masking that. So then, why did you get to be that in the first place? (funny.. how much one can convey just with the usage of prepositions!)
Is there then "Cinderella time" for the clock to strike and the mask to melt away into nothingness, or does it after a while become a fixture, beneath which only a shadow of the original exists, wrinkled, jaded, shrivelled!
Given the present scenario, how does one then operate? Does one have to have one as well? A social mask for a masked society? I wonder then if one gets aware of the circumstance of donning it or does it magically appear at will, a la Superman/woman, spiderman/woman, catman/woman..will have to ask son for further references..
And Truth? What of that? Oh! it shines through.. at times.. when in love and the one beneath decides to unburden the tragedy of his being and revel in the freedom of just Being, in the hope of acceptance on 'an as is where is basis'..not long before time decides to unleash its seasonal fury and the mask of the other gets blown away to smithereens to reveal who? A stranger...ah Well! all in the game of life.
Come to think of it, is it really that 'all pervasive', this mask business ? Lets look around.. internet..hmm pseudonyms, friends...reliable?naah, family.. of course.. 'blood is thicker than water and all that'..yeah Pravin proved that by actually shedding it..and us? Well me.. I write under my own name, have been attacked since times immemorial because of my inability to cloak my feelings, so thats two+.. as for the rest well who knows ..am yet in the process of discovering.
Difficult process.. if you ask me.. since one is unable to decipher when it came on or if it has come on at all? Scary .. It strikes surreptitiously and is so infectious. By merely looking at one , there are grave chances of it manifesting with alarming equality or greater proportion on to you.And before you know it hey presto! there you are responding, reverberating, echoing, tones, voices, accents, attitudes..
“Our masks, always in peril of smearing or cracking, in need of continuous check in the mirror or silverware, keep us in thrall to ourselves, concerned with our surfaces.” ..Tricky business this.. make, preserve, modernise, refresh, re-mix,chameleon like:)( No reference to you CK. just so apt for the point)
Then why even bother? Why not just BE? Savour the freedom of your own emotions, thughts, personality, ideas.. Because 'No one is more youer than you'.. and as long as it is you who loves your self, why bother if the world does , one way or the other? It is the one in the mirror who has to smile back..the world's smile maybe the mask of a clowns, in any case.. who knows?
'Summon all the strength to rip off that mask'..Oxygenate, Live and Love. You come by this way just once..
Monday, April 24, 2006
Suicide..Navin Nischol's Wife
Promod Mahajans brother Pravin shot him at point blank range, in what seemed as a pre-meditated act, stemming from frustration at being the 'ignored poorer' one. The media, internet have been all agog with the News. Rightfully so. Sibling rivalry in its latest serpiginous reflection.
What caught my attention however, was the underhyped but equally ,if not more tragic news of the suicide of actor Navin Nischols (Sawan bhadon, Buddha mil gaya fame) wife Geetanjali. She was at home at her Mahim residence when she decided to put an end to her sufferings, or so she imagined, by hanging herself from the ceiling fan.Her servants reported the incident.So... another unsung, unceremonious, futile end! Another love story bites the dust. There is nothing more heartbreaking than to be witness to a heart break.
A while back, in an interview to the media she had gone on record to narrate how Navins brother Pravin( again!what is with this name!) Nischol had allegedly duped them of their plush apartment at Khar, which had been bought with Navins money in the '80's, but had been on Pravins name to avoid tax hassles, or so she claimed. Financial constraints had led them to become homeless and therefore were now living in appalling conditions at Mahim.
The 'alleged' suicide note, found by the police states however that she was taking her life due to the alcoholism of Navin and the property dispute. Reports claim that Navin had been living separately for almost a year, in Pune.
Irrespective of the details and circumstances, which would be unfair to comment upon without adequate proof, what seems clear is that the couple had been unable to cope with
1)adversities in finances
2)adversities in career
3)adversities in relationships
This was a second marriage for both.Barely six years old.
Walking the tightrope of life, , a piece on the suicide of Kuljeet Randhawa, in totally different circumstances, will shed further light on the sreiousness of this scenario and the underlying causes and implications. She was an acclaimed actress and model, young and beautiful. Her reasons surprisingly too boiled down to failed relationships.
“Anguish of mind has driven thousands to suicide; anguish of body, none. This proves that the health of the mind is of far more consequence to our happiness than the health of the body, although both are deserving of much more attention than either of them receive.”
While I am feeding in details of the news which at most skims the surface of what is working in my mind right now, I find it increasingly tragic that in this world of apparent modernisation and progress, humans find themselves alone, forlorn and at sea, desperate and friendless. Also, it is sadly true that positivity is a sentiment which is starkly unavailable as an ingredient of the lives of most,especially at times like these.
"Adversity is the salt of life"..so said Swami Vivekananda. Remembered by some, but adhered to by fewer!
Do we tend to give our all to emotional well-being over and above any other? Yet fail to instill in each other the joyous wonder of being together as the only premise worth any deduction.
If , love be the centre of our existence, why cannot we love unconditionally? Not in expectation of any return and to avoid in the face of disappointment, hurt? Alternatively, desist from placing our life in the palm of another humans inconsistent loyalties or capabilities of reciprocation. The other maybe as confused or himself/herself in need of strength and solace.To expect super human efforts from another while not displaying any ourselves, is fallacious and can only lead to disaster. As has been apparent in this case.
Most men are at their lowest, if careers fail to translate into compensatory and commensurate returns financially. It is at such periods in life that most marriages break under the pressure of coping with the demands of life on one hand and an unresponsive or asympathetic spouse on the other. What should have been a 'give only'relationship, in terms of love and understanding, disintegrates into a 'take only'. Soon the 'blame game' takes over and the two become unrecognisable even to themselves.
“True Love burns the brightest, But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.”
The path of love and togetherness is fraught with uncertainties, trials and tribulations.
A hint of philosophy, which points towards the direction of patience and wisdom, a tinge of spirituality which opens up need for faith and trust in the Unknown Plan, and a dollop of love for that one person who has pledged herself/himself to you, would go a far way in minimising incidents such as these, which speak of a Broken heart, more than anything else and the final revenge at having not been heard.
Is suicide then the end to suffering? Negative. If only she had known that perhaps it would serve only to perpetuate the seed of unhappiness which could have been allowed to wither away on its own, over time, with patience, in barren soil inconducive to erroneous thinking, emerging out of an awakened mind. If only..
What caught my attention however, was the underhyped but equally ,if not more tragic news of the suicide of actor Navin Nischols (Sawan bhadon, Buddha mil gaya fame) wife Geetanjali. She was at home at her Mahim residence when she decided to put an end to her sufferings, or so she imagined, by hanging herself from the ceiling fan.Her servants reported the incident.So... another unsung, unceremonious, futile end! Another love story bites the dust. There is nothing more heartbreaking than to be witness to a heart break.
A while back, in an interview to the media she had gone on record to narrate how Navins brother Pravin( again!what is with this name!) Nischol had allegedly duped them of their plush apartment at Khar, which had been bought with Navins money in the '80's, but had been on Pravins name to avoid tax hassles, or so she claimed. Financial constraints had led them to become homeless and therefore were now living in appalling conditions at Mahim.
The 'alleged' suicide note, found by the police states however that she was taking her life due to the alcoholism of Navin and the property dispute. Reports claim that Navin had been living separately for almost a year, in Pune.
Irrespective of the details and circumstances, which would be unfair to comment upon without adequate proof, what seems clear is that the couple had been unable to cope with
1)adversities in finances
2)adversities in career
3)adversities in relationships
This was a second marriage for both.Barely six years old.
Walking the tightrope of life, , a piece on the suicide of Kuljeet Randhawa, in totally different circumstances, will shed further light on the sreiousness of this scenario and the underlying causes and implications. She was an acclaimed actress and model, young and beautiful. Her reasons surprisingly too boiled down to failed relationships.
“Anguish of mind has driven thousands to suicide; anguish of body, none. This proves that the health of the mind is of far more consequence to our happiness than the health of the body, although both are deserving of much more attention than either of them receive.”
While I am feeding in details of the news which at most skims the surface of what is working in my mind right now, I find it increasingly tragic that in this world of apparent modernisation and progress, humans find themselves alone, forlorn and at sea, desperate and friendless. Also, it is sadly true that positivity is a sentiment which is starkly unavailable as an ingredient of the lives of most,especially at times like these.
"Adversity is the salt of life"..so said Swami Vivekananda. Remembered by some, but adhered to by fewer!
Do we tend to give our all to emotional well-being over and above any other? Yet fail to instill in each other the joyous wonder of being together as the only premise worth any deduction.
If , love be the centre of our existence, why cannot we love unconditionally? Not in expectation of any return and to avoid in the face of disappointment, hurt? Alternatively, desist from placing our life in the palm of another humans inconsistent loyalties or capabilities of reciprocation. The other maybe as confused or himself/herself in need of strength and solace.To expect super human efforts from another while not displaying any ourselves, is fallacious and can only lead to disaster. As has been apparent in this case.
Most men are at their lowest, if careers fail to translate into compensatory and commensurate returns financially. It is at such periods in life that most marriages break under the pressure of coping with the demands of life on one hand and an unresponsive or asympathetic spouse on the other. What should have been a 'give only'relationship, in terms of love and understanding, disintegrates into a 'take only'. Soon the 'blame game' takes over and the two become unrecognisable even to themselves.
“True Love burns the brightest, But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.”
The path of love and togetherness is fraught with uncertainties, trials and tribulations.
A hint of philosophy, which points towards the direction of patience and wisdom, a tinge of spirituality which opens up need for faith and trust in the Unknown Plan, and a dollop of love for that one person who has pledged herself/himself to you, would go a far way in minimising incidents such as these, which speak of a Broken heart, more than anything else and the final revenge at having not been heard.
Is suicide then the end to suffering? Negative. If only she had known that perhaps it would serve only to perpetuate the seed of unhappiness which could have been allowed to wither away on its own, over time, with patience, in barren soil inconducive to erroneous thinking, emerging out of an awakened mind. If only..
Saturday, April 22, 2006
No Ring - No String
I met a girl , couple of days back, at a social do. The usual kind of party where you meet some interesting, some not so, some nice, some not so, some who you take back with you in memories and others who you want to forget the moment they are out of your sight.
She was the former variety, interesting , nice and the fact I am writing about her amounts to the fact that she was memorable. Pretty, in a bizarre sort of way and totally in-the-face.With her attitude, speech and stance.
A while ago, I would have made my excuses and strolled off. I found it difficult to come to terms with this 'new breed', to whom irreverence is a choice and a badge they wear as an identity status.
Surprisingly, ever since I joined the ranks of 'blogging community', I notice that my reserve and trepidation at 'dialoguing' with the kind is slowly melting. Even almost disappearing. I find myself warming to their view point and eager to know their take on almost every issue under the sun..which includes of course, the quintessential topic of discussion among humanity as a whole- Marriage.
The above title of the post was thanks to my new friend. It more or less is self explanatory on what she thinks of this great'institution' of marriage. Or rather does not think of it, as one. To every argument I put forward with all the eloquence at my disposal, or 'weight of experience', all I got from her was "why?" or a "so what?", "why bother" and finally "its just not worth it"..period.
I was taken aback, initially, at the generous dollops of slang that interspersed her vociferous fragmented utterances. You'd be too. Try envisaging the above four worders punctuated with six f's and 3 a's. But once the reasoning behind the heavily cloaked words reached my overwhelmingly and by-now groggy mind, I actually found myself telling her "I think you are right.. I would have done the same too." Hubby ofcourse at this point, had given up on the two of us and decided to replenish his stem glass.
To put it as succinctly as I can, she believed that most men/women today do not believe in marriage as being the only worthwhile destination in their life. If the reason for marriage is stability, then she didnt need a man to give it to her. Emotional needs,well, which husband remains your best friend, once the initial euphoria has died down. Physical needs?? "You must be joking..Hitch up for life for a roll in the hay? Never!!". What about envy at those happily married snap shot families, kids in tow, munching on crunchies, at a theatre. Wont she miss it?.. Yeah right..go home to a hubby who promptly goes off to sleep and you are left handling the kids their tantrums and an acrylic sense of having had a good time!
Compare that with the brazenness of telling the guy who decides to exhibit his male ego by reminding her how she ought to be doing this that or the other, with a s***w off. Coming back to a place where she can be the person she wants to, never made to feel guilty for choosing to have a life, and not just babies!!
"Independence" in its most recent and progressive(?) connotation. So what happens now to Kids? Will they happen? And if they do, will they have a home with Papa and Mama?
Is it just years of conditioning that accentuates a family as we know it, or is it the only way it was meant to be? Are single parent families the future?
What of "and they lived happily ever after "endings? Or, were they fairy tales after all..there are no endings of the kind.
She was the former variety, interesting , nice and the fact I am writing about her amounts to the fact that she was memorable. Pretty, in a bizarre sort of way and totally in-the-face.With her attitude, speech and stance.
A while ago, I would have made my excuses and strolled off. I found it difficult to come to terms with this 'new breed', to whom irreverence is a choice and a badge they wear as an identity status.
Surprisingly, ever since I joined the ranks of 'blogging community', I notice that my reserve and trepidation at 'dialoguing' with the kind is slowly melting. Even almost disappearing. I find myself warming to their view point and eager to know their take on almost every issue under the sun..which includes of course, the quintessential topic of discussion among humanity as a whole- Marriage.
The above title of the post was thanks to my new friend. It more or less is self explanatory on what she thinks of this great'institution' of marriage. Or rather does not think of it, as one. To every argument I put forward with all the eloquence at my disposal, or 'weight of experience', all I got from her was "why?" or a "so what?", "why bother" and finally "its just not worth it"..period.
I was taken aback, initially, at the generous dollops of slang that interspersed her vociferous fragmented utterances. You'd be too. Try envisaging the above four worders punctuated with six f's and 3 a's. But once the reasoning behind the heavily cloaked words reached my overwhelmingly and by-now groggy mind, I actually found myself telling her "I think you are right.. I would have done the same too." Hubby ofcourse at this point, had given up on the two of us and decided to replenish his stem glass.
To put it as succinctly as I can, she believed that most men/women today do not believe in marriage as being the only worthwhile destination in their life. If the reason for marriage is stability, then she didnt need a man to give it to her. Emotional needs,well, which husband remains your best friend, once the initial euphoria has died down. Physical needs?? "You must be joking..Hitch up for life for a roll in the hay? Never!!". What about envy at those happily married snap shot families, kids in tow, munching on crunchies, at a theatre. Wont she miss it?.. Yeah right..go home to a hubby who promptly goes off to sleep and you are left handling the kids their tantrums and an acrylic sense of having had a good time!
Compare that with the brazenness of telling the guy who decides to exhibit his male ego by reminding her how she ought to be doing this that or the other, with a s***w off. Coming back to a place where she can be the person she wants to, never made to feel guilty for choosing to have a life, and not just babies!!
"Independence" in its most recent and progressive(?) connotation. So what happens now to Kids? Will they happen? And if they do, will they have a home with Papa and Mama?
Is it just years of conditioning that accentuates a family as we know it, or is it the only way it was meant to be? Are single parent families the future?
What of "and they lived happily ever after "endings? Or, were they fairy tales after all..there are no endings of the kind.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Yours Forever
"All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark." Swami Vivekananda
To be fallible is to be human too. But if you want to feel the power in you and your potential to be what you were mean to be, all you have to do is read Swami Vivekanada.
I am a voracious reader, but have rarely been inspired as much by any other. To top it, all of his works are speeches he has delivered, which have been collected and compiled. Therefore, it was not as if he had actually sat and written it.
It has been said that Swamiji never prepared his talks. He went up to the podium and began speaking.Pearls of widom, effortlessly. That is what makes it truly remarkable. Even if one were to try, one cannot look for error. They were perfect in implication, rhetoric and peppered with spirituality.
Having gained a deep insight into the vedas, and the writings of our sages, it was as if he had imbed it wholly. What emerged was a simplified, day to day lesson on life and living. Never before had Hinduism and its philosophy been propounded in a manner which the common man could relate with and grasp. After him, there have been one in every decade. If you know what I mean. But he was the original.
Lets take this quotation. How true. And how motivating. It is we who have limited our powers with our thinking. So it is not our ability to achieve or to overcome which is questionable, it is our interpretation of our situation which should be questioned.
There is an opportunity waiting, in every challenge of life. Only, we choose to interpret it as an obstacle. That normally happens when the gaze has shifted from the goal that perceived obstacles present themselves so. Perhaps, there is another lesson waiting to be learnt for the journey ahead.
The oft repeated saying of light a candle when it gets dark, inspires us to light the candle of wisdom. Life is the greatest university, if one is a willing student. Wisdom our best friend. Always present, just a step behind, waiting to be beckoned and ever willing to be a guide.
And when all else fails to get you out of the dumps, read Swami Vivekananda. He has never let me down. He will be there for you as well.
To be fallible is to be human too. But if you want to feel the power in you and your potential to be what you were mean to be, all you have to do is read Swami Vivekanada.
I am a voracious reader, but have rarely been inspired as much by any other. To top it, all of his works are speeches he has delivered, which have been collected and compiled. Therefore, it was not as if he had actually sat and written it.
It has been said that Swamiji never prepared his talks. He went up to the podium and began speaking.Pearls of widom, effortlessly. That is what makes it truly remarkable. Even if one were to try, one cannot look for error. They were perfect in implication, rhetoric and peppered with spirituality.
Having gained a deep insight into the vedas, and the writings of our sages, it was as if he had imbed it wholly. What emerged was a simplified, day to day lesson on life and living. Never before had Hinduism and its philosophy been propounded in a manner which the common man could relate with and grasp. After him, there have been one in every decade. If you know what I mean. But he was the original.
Lets take this quotation. How true. And how motivating. It is we who have limited our powers with our thinking. So it is not our ability to achieve or to overcome which is questionable, it is our interpretation of our situation which should be questioned.
There is an opportunity waiting, in every challenge of life. Only, we choose to interpret it as an obstacle. That normally happens when the gaze has shifted from the goal that perceived obstacles present themselves so. Perhaps, there is another lesson waiting to be learnt for the journey ahead.
The oft repeated saying of light a candle when it gets dark, inspires us to light the candle of wisdom. Life is the greatest university, if one is a willing student. Wisdom our best friend. Always present, just a step behind, waiting to be beckoned and ever willing to be a guide.
And when all else fails to get you out of the dumps, read Swami Vivekananda. He has never let me down. He will be there for you as well.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
And Now Banks Take Over Piggy Banks
Times are fast-a- changing..for better or for worse, depends on which side of the fence you find yourself.
As parents, all is not hunky dory. Our brats are under focus, scrutiny and attack, if I may add. Close on the heels of a report that kids in Mumbai receive the highest amount of pocket money,they naturally earn the privilege of being the highest spenders. The ad gurus, fast to learn and quick to implement have decided to address their ads to the 'new entrants' on the block. The savvy young breed of decision makers, our kids.
Never one to lose an opportunity, there comes an anouncement by the ICICI Bank introducing the 'Young Stars Account' for ages between 7-18. What's sensational, you may ask.
Wait till you read of the perks. A personal debit card with daily spending/withdrawal limits of Rs2500.
Now thats a fire in the hay stack kind of matchstick thrown our way. One kid has it, and there the tantrum takes centrestage..''I want it too". No amount of cajoling and manipulation can really work at this stage. May help to delay the propensity of the needed reaction, if you are lucky. But act you will have to , one way or the other.
"The world is getting materialistic, by the hour" was a constant refrain of my Grandma, 20 years back Wonder what she'd have to say today.
Ahh nostalgia..takes me back to the time when in one of the absurd demands, children make, I threw a fit for an aeroplane, on a visit to the airport. There I was all teary eyed, hiccupping in misery, sobbing at having been told that I could not have one. My dad, a great one for masterminding ingenuous ways and means to turn the tide in his favour offered a deal . He explained that he since he was just a little short of cash for the aeroplane, suggested that I settle for the next best , which he would get me right away, while the aeroplane, was agreed to be momentarily kept in abeyance... I wiped my tears, fiddled with the kerchief, thought really hard, and settled for a Five star cadbury chocolate. Since Pa looked relieved, I quickly made it 'two'.
"Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built." James Dobson
The ad makers, banks are villains of the story, in the lives of our kids, cementing impressions on their impressionable minds.What they are in fact contributing towards is for one, exposing them to artficialities at a younger age than accepted, by equating acquisition of expensive gadgetry with happiness, secondly, depriving them of the simple pleasures of say, saving up rupee by rupee, in a Piggy bank, hear the tinkling of the coins in unbounded pleasure, seeeking to fulfill a simple and innocent dream, or better still , waiting to surprise a dear one with a gift, bought from breaking open the piggy and wide eyed unparallelled excitiment of counting up one by one the accumulated treasure of arduous sacrifice, and unswerving goals.
One is not against the practise of 'pocket money per se. In fact it is highly recommended as means to the quickest and most effective lesson in economics. Earn, spend, save. What is scary is the attitude of some folks to compensate lack of quality bonding time with perhps a debit card, now. With the coming of age of 'collarless crimes' from the Manu sharmas, Abhishek Kasliwals of our society, the fear of 'drugging' easy money is all the more pronounced. Too much too soon..then what?
Too much of pocket money, and its an invitation to misuse. Too little and its a thrust to criminal resorting to acquiring it. The underworld feeds on youngsters in the' get rich quick mode'. Therefore, just enough to keep the value of the rupee from getting undervalued. Buddha and his middle path is an advisable remedy here.
In a world already riddled and fraught with stresses of unsatiated desires and forlorn, meaningless existence, this is serving to perpetuate the miseries of modernity, over the raw freshness of untainted , simplistic life, some of us would want to present our children with.
We need more Dhirubhai Ambanis and Azim Premjis, self-made, enterprising and Legendary .
What I am certain of is that their pocket money was perhaps next to non-existent.
As parents, all is not hunky dory. Our brats are under focus, scrutiny and attack, if I may add. Close on the heels of a report that kids in Mumbai receive the highest amount of pocket money,they naturally earn the privilege of being the highest spenders. The ad gurus, fast to learn and quick to implement have decided to address their ads to the 'new entrants' on the block. The savvy young breed of decision makers, our kids.
Never one to lose an opportunity, there comes an anouncement by the ICICI Bank introducing the 'Young Stars Account' for ages between 7-18. What's sensational, you may ask.
Wait till you read of the perks. A personal debit card with daily spending/withdrawal limits of Rs2500.
Now thats a fire in the hay stack kind of matchstick thrown our way. One kid has it, and there the tantrum takes centrestage..''I want it too". No amount of cajoling and manipulation can really work at this stage. May help to delay the propensity of the needed reaction, if you are lucky. But act you will have to , one way or the other.
"The world is getting materialistic, by the hour" was a constant refrain of my Grandma, 20 years back Wonder what she'd have to say today.
Ahh nostalgia..takes me back to the time when in one of the absurd demands, children make, I threw a fit for an aeroplane, on a visit to the airport. There I was all teary eyed, hiccupping in misery, sobbing at having been told that I could not have one. My dad, a great one for masterminding ingenuous ways and means to turn the tide in his favour offered a deal . He explained that he since he was just a little short of cash for the aeroplane, suggested that I settle for the next best , which he would get me right away, while the aeroplane, was agreed to be momentarily kept in abeyance... I wiped my tears, fiddled with the kerchief, thought really hard, and settled for a Five star cadbury chocolate. Since Pa looked relieved, I quickly made it 'two'.
"Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built." James Dobson
The ad makers, banks are villains of the story, in the lives of our kids, cementing impressions on their impressionable minds.What they are in fact contributing towards is for one, exposing them to artficialities at a younger age than accepted, by equating acquisition of expensive gadgetry with happiness, secondly, depriving them of the simple pleasures of say, saving up rupee by rupee, in a Piggy bank, hear the tinkling of the coins in unbounded pleasure, seeeking to fulfill a simple and innocent dream, or better still , waiting to surprise a dear one with a gift, bought from breaking open the piggy and wide eyed unparallelled excitiment of counting up one by one the accumulated treasure of arduous sacrifice, and unswerving goals.
One is not against the practise of 'pocket money per se. In fact it is highly recommended as means to the quickest and most effective lesson in economics. Earn, spend, save. What is scary is the attitude of some folks to compensate lack of quality bonding time with perhps a debit card, now. With the coming of age of 'collarless crimes' from the Manu sharmas, Abhishek Kasliwals of our society, the fear of 'drugging' easy money is all the more pronounced. Too much too soon..then what?
Too much of pocket money, and its an invitation to misuse. Too little and its a thrust to criminal resorting to acquiring it. The underworld feeds on youngsters in the' get rich quick mode'. Therefore, just enough to keep the value of the rupee from getting undervalued. Buddha and his middle path is an advisable remedy here.
In a world already riddled and fraught with stresses of unsatiated desires and forlorn, meaningless existence, this is serving to perpetuate the miseries of modernity, over the raw freshness of untainted , simplistic life, some of us would want to present our children with.
We need more Dhirubhai Ambanis and Azim Premjis, self-made, enterprising and Legendary .
What I am certain of is that their pocket money was perhaps next to non-existent.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Just For laughs!
• Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don’t send it back; I've already received hundreds.
• The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!
• When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world seems to be fading away, come along with me I'll take u to an eye specialist!
• Unlike others your brain is a masterpiece. In the left half, nothing is right and in the right half, nothing is left.
• Today, tommorow and yesterday there'll be one heart that would always beat for you. You know Whose?
Your Own Stupid!
• Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.
• Q: If a devil catches your wife, what would you do?
A: You can do nothing. if devil has committed a mistake let him face the consequences.
• What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Aamir Khan-From Reel to Real
Aamir khan apparently has been impressed with Medha Patkars Narmada Bachao Andolan's fight for the villagers of Gujarat, So much that he has decided to join hands.
While Medhas fight began almost a decade back, when she demanded that the villagers be re-habilitated in direct proportion to what they were supposedly to be deprived, in the construction of the Sardar Sarovar dam, Aamir has decided to pitch in now.
Since, no relief is in sight and the work of the dam now approved, the tension increases. Medha is fasting since March 29th in New Delhi.
There seem to be dimensions that are hidden, insiduous suggestions and veiled agendas, on the part of the Government. While the rehabilitation and the modalities have been underlined by the supreme Court, which for all practical purposes should be beyond the scope of discussion or dissension, the fact that not only has its adherement been in doubt, as also the fight to raise the height of the dam.
Put simply, this would mean, additional villages submerged and further mass of people to be rehabilitated.
Narendra Modi has taken this opportunity to prove that he is as much a star in Gujarat as Aamir if not more. After all he can ensure that Aamirs film and its posters be vandalised, and anarchy prevail outside the theatres in Gujarat. He wants Aamir to be out of the coterie supporting Medha and he is doing his not so Mod-i-est bit.
Yesterday there was a candle light protest against Aamir, outside his residence, by BJP supporters. It lasted all of 20 minutes. What is clear is the fact that it was meant to be a publicity stunt more than anything else. How does one explain the presence of the media in all its force, with cameras, mikes et al!!
Aamir stands his ground. His take on it seems reasonable and is in consonance with how an average person would react. Build the dam if it means water for Gujarat. But rehabilitate displaced villagers. Fair enough.
In a recent interview Aamir was asked if his new Avatar was thanks to the role he assayed in RDB, to which he replied in the affirmative while reminding that this was what the film was about. Activism from the common man.
True Aamir. But the problem is that others have seen the film too. And if they choose to utilise their newly found sense of activism, courtesy RDB, to mobilise opinion against you and your support, then who is to stop them!!
All said and done, the antics of the Modi Government in creating a widespread feeling of dissension against the Congress, is obvious. Modi claims that this is a plot by the central Govt to influence the Supreme Court from disallowing the increase in height of the dam. He has begun his 51 hour fast , albeit in air conditined comfort, as a protest .
For the lay man, what it finally ends in is befuddlement and maze of questions.
Why has Aamir , suddenly jumped into the fray? RDB has recently been given a tax exemption from the Congress. Is it because the Defence minister , in the movie, was obviously from the BJP cabinet? Gujarat is under the BJP rule.. Is it pay back time for Aamir and his gang???
Deductions anyone.
While Medhas fight began almost a decade back, when she demanded that the villagers be re-habilitated in direct proportion to what they were supposedly to be deprived, in the construction of the Sardar Sarovar dam, Aamir has decided to pitch in now.
Since, no relief is in sight and the work of the dam now approved, the tension increases. Medha is fasting since March 29th in New Delhi.
There seem to be dimensions that are hidden, insiduous suggestions and veiled agendas, on the part of the Government. While the rehabilitation and the modalities have been underlined by the supreme Court, which for all practical purposes should be beyond the scope of discussion or dissension, the fact that not only has its adherement been in doubt, as also the fight to raise the height of the dam.
Put simply, this would mean, additional villages submerged and further mass of people to be rehabilitated.
Narendra Modi has taken this opportunity to prove that he is as much a star in Gujarat as Aamir if not more. After all he can ensure that Aamirs film and its posters be vandalised, and anarchy prevail outside the theatres in Gujarat. He wants Aamir to be out of the coterie supporting Medha and he is doing his not so Mod-i-est bit.
Yesterday there was a candle light protest against Aamir, outside his residence, by BJP supporters. It lasted all of 20 minutes. What is clear is the fact that it was meant to be a publicity stunt more than anything else. How does one explain the presence of the media in all its force, with cameras, mikes et al!!
Aamir stands his ground. His take on it seems reasonable and is in consonance with how an average person would react. Build the dam if it means water for Gujarat. But rehabilitate displaced villagers. Fair enough.
In a recent interview Aamir was asked if his new Avatar was thanks to the role he assayed in RDB, to which he replied in the affirmative while reminding that this was what the film was about. Activism from the common man.
True Aamir. But the problem is that others have seen the film too. And if they choose to utilise their newly found sense of activism, courtesy RDB, to mobilise opinion against you and your support, then who is to stop them!!
All said and done, the antics of the Modi Government in creating a widespread feeling of dissension against the Congress, is obvious. Modi claims that this is a plot by the central Govt to influence the Supreme Court from disallowing the increase in height of the dam. He has begun his 51 hour fast , albeit in air conditined comfort, as a protest .
For the lay man, what it finally ends in is befuddlement and maze of questions.
Why has Aamir , suddenly jumped into the fray? RDB has recently been given a tax exemption from the Congress. Is it because the Defence minister , in the movie, was obviously from the BJP cabinet? Gujarat is under the BJP rule.. Is it pay back time for Aamir and his gang???
Deductions anyone.
